Live Faster, Love Stronger
by Darling Chibi
Summary: Hermione has a secret. A secret that she’s not willing to tell anyone, not even her best friends. But what happens when a past enemy finds out? A story of how an unlikely friendship can bring comfort through rough times and grow into something more.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Thank you so much for choosing to read _Live Faster, Love Stronger_.

Before you start reading I would like to inform you know that there will be some differences from the book and characters may be a little out of character. I just want to ask you not to be rude or harsh about it. Enjoy the story as it is. It's fan fiction. Also, this story is categorized under angst for a reason. There will be a lot of sad moments, so please don't _complain_ about the story being too depressing. That's kind of the point. Of course it's all right to make a comment about it (I want you to!), but just don't complain. Last thing, this is my first attempt at writing in first person point of view. I know that there will be mistakes and slip-ups in the writing. Again, please don't be rude or harsh. I'll try my best to fix it.

Sorry that ended up being super long and I hope I didn't come off as a complete bitch. I'm just trying to clear some things up so that when you read the story you're not going, "What the hell?"  
You know what I mean? Haha

Well enough with the rambling, I hope you like this first chapter and continue to read as I continue add more chapters. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 1  
_____________________________________**

_"I am restless and I keep trembling.  
Everyone watch me as I descend into a feeling that's overwhelming me."_

_- Run, Don't Walk (Hey Monday)  
__**_____________________________________**_

**___---_**

It's funny how something so life changing can happen so suddenly that you don't even know how to react. Or maybe that's just me. Even now, a week and four days after I found out, I still don't know how to react or what I should do next. I haven't gotten enough courage to tell anyone. Not even Harry and Ron, who have been there for me more than I could ever count.

I don't even know why I'm feeling this scared to tell them. It's not like they would get angry with me. Not even close. Maybe it's the fact that I know they'll treat me differently, somehow changing our friendship. Or maybe it's the fact that _I'm_ too scared to allow myself to accept the truth.

I hear a knock on my door, snapping me out of my daydream. Of only it is so easy to get rid of this feeling building up inside me, as it is to snap out of a though in a daydream. Another knock and I get to open the door. Instantly, right after the first knock, I knew who is at the door.

"Hi Ginny!" I put on my fake smile that I had been practicing since I got the letter about her visit this morning. It surprises me how easy it is to pretend to be happy and normal when all I want to do is cry.

"Hermione!" Ginny practically pounces on me with a hug and I stumble backwards a little. I don't know how so much energy could come from someone so small.

"Ginny, calm down" I say and let a laugh as she let's go of me. She walks into my house as I close the door and follow her to the couch.

"I'm just so happy to see you, Hermione! I feel like we haven't talked in months."

"It's only been two weeks, Gin." I tell her, but she doesn't seem to be paying any attention to me. I watch her look around the room and I see that look in her eyes.

"Did you rearrange your living room?" She asks me. It's a rhetorical question and she knows it because my living room definitely did not look like this the last time she came to visit.

"Just a little bit." At least it isn't a full-blown lie. Then Ginny takes one look at me and I sigh. Oh great, here it comes.

"Hermione, what's wrong? I know you always rearrange your stuff whenever you're upset or angry and don't try to deny it." Ginny says. I roll my eyes. "The last time you completely redecorated the whole place was after Krum broke up with you."

Thanks so much for me reminding me, Ginny.

"I didn't _completely_ redecorate…I just added some new furniture, repainted the walls, threw out some old sheets, a-"

"Oh, right, my mistake. Those are just minor changes." Ginny interrupts, the sarcasm practically drooling out of her mouth.

"Look Ginny, I'm fine. I was just bored and had a lot of time on my hands."

Wow, lying through your teeth was a lot easier than I thought. Ginny was about to say something, but I beat her to it.

"You said in the letter that you had something important to tell me?" That seems to do the trick and she immediately drops that topic, thank Merlin, and goes on a little too quickly for me to understand what she's going on about.

"…And I'm going to be attending Pansy Parkinson's annual end-of-the-summer banquet. Oh you're, coming with me. It's going to be so much fun! I hear she goes all out a-"

Wait a minute. I had tuned her out for the most part, but something caught my attention. Did I hear what I think I just heard?

"Hold on right there, Ginny Weasley. What do you mean I'm going with you?" I ask, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I heard wrong. No such luck.

"Um, surprise?" Ginny gives me a nervous smile, but that does nothing for me.

"Ginny! I do not, and I repeat, do not want to go to that…that…"

"It's called a banquet. You know, where a bunch of people have dinner together. It's a formal thing and ther-"

"Whatever! I don't care what it is. I don't want to go." I cross my arms and look away.

"Why not, Hermione? It's just dinner and maybe some mingling. Stop acting so childish."

"I don't mingle and I'm not acting childish." Even though I know that I am.

"Alright Hermione, you leave me no choice but to beg." Ginny looks at me with pleading eyes. "Please?"

"Ginny, don't even start with me…"

Oh no, I feel my walls that I've built up slowly crumble down. I really hate it when people beg because it kills me inside and I have no choice but to give in. Ginny knows this and that's why she's doing it. That little devil.

"Please, please, please!" By this time she's grabbed on to my arm and is tugging on my coat sleeve.

"Oh, alright! You're lucky I consider you a best friend or I would've kicked you out the moment you said Pansy Parkinson."

"She's not as bad of a person as you think she is." Ginny assures me.

Oh right, I forget that those two became friends over the summer when Pansy got a job as a reporter for the Daily Prophet, where Ginny was already working. Who knew that Pansy could write so well? I hate to admit, but her articles are brilliant and I find myself looking forward to reading them, but I wouldn't tell her that to her face or anything. Ginny and Pansy were assigned to work on a project together and well, I guess they found that they had a lot in common and became best buddies. It's not that I hate the girl, but I don't particularly like her either. Not like she's given me any reason to.

"I'm sure somewhere in there is a kind person, Ginny, but the last time you made me go to lunch with you and her, she gave me the cold shoulder."

"That's because _you_ decided to greet her by saying 'Hey pug-face'"

"I was just trying to be funny. She needs to get a sense of humor." And then I'm reminded that my humor has already started to fade.

"Well, I know that you two could become great friends, if given each other the chance." I snort at her comment. Ginny rolls her eyes at me. "Just be sure you're nice to her when we get there."

"Wait, when is the banquet?" I'm almost too afraid to ask.

"Tonight…"

The same nervous smile returns to Ginny's face and suddenly, I find myself wanting to move this couch that we are currently sitting on out the door and replace it with another.

* * *

"_Miss Granger, how long have you been feeling ill?"_

"_Just a few days."_

_I look up at the healer, Healer Carter, as he examines some parchment in his hands looking as if he was trying to solve the world's hardest divination problem. To be honest, I've actually been feeling like crap for about two weeks, but there's something about telling him the truth that makes me feel as if it'll cause him to say the illness is much worse. I'm hoping it's just a minor cold. But colds don't last for this long. Sometimes, hope let's you down._

"_Is there anything wrong?" I ask him when it doesn't seem like he's going to respond._

"_It looks as if you have some sort of growth building up near your heart." He finally says…and my heart drops._

"_A growth?" I say to no one in particular. "Is…is it deadly?"_

"_No, not yet at least, but if it gets any bigger, well then we'll have a problem."_

_I feel my face starting to loose it's color. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?_

"_Isn't there any spells or something that can get rid of it?"_

"_There is, the problem is that it's so close to your heart that I'm afraid if we do use magic to get rid of it, something else might happen to your heart."_

"_Then what is there left to do?" At this point, I'm about to create a waterfall with the tears welling up in my eyes._

"_I'll give you some potions that you must take everyday. There will be four types that are supposed to be taken at specific times. After three weeks I want you to come back and I'll do a check up on you to see if there's been any progress and give you more potions."_

"_Okay, I can do that." I sigh in relief, knowing that_ something _could be done was enough for me. "What will these potions do?"_

"_They will stop the growth from getting bigger and hopefully shrink down in size until it disappears completely."_

_There goes that hope again and somehow I feel as if hope has not been on my side for a while now._

* * *

As soon as I step foot into Pansy Parkinson's enormous manor, I regret coming at all. The place was filled with laughter and smiling faces, which are the last two things I feel like doing, but, as Ginny drags me further in, I take a deep breath and put on my fake smile. See, I knew practicing earlier would come in handy. Ginny spots Pansy and starts walking towards her. I have no choice but to follow.

Then, as we approach Pansy, my smile drops. No, I don't dislike Pansy that much. I would've still kept my smile on for Ginny's sake, and my smile didn't drop because I saw _her_. No, it wasn't Pansy. It was the man standing next to her that caused my sudden change in expression. Before I even get the chance to pull Ginny away Pansy already sees us and is coming towards us this very moment, dragging him along with her.

"Ginny! I'm so glad you could make it!" Pansy exclaims, and I genuinely cannot tell if she's faking it or not. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing either. They exchange hugs as I stand here like an idiot looking anywhere _but_ at the man standing a few feet away from me, who I know is looking at me.

"Of course I made it! And look, I brought Hermione with me, too." Ginny grabs my arm and pulls me so that I'm now standing in front of Pansy.

"Hello Pansy. You're…place looks beautiful." That wasn't a lie and I'm proud of myself for not throwing another 'pug-face' comment at her. It's not that she still looks like a pug-face. No, she's actually grown to be gorgeous (or maybe it's all fake), but I like to just remind her that she did, once. I'll get over it, eventually.

"Thank you, Hermione. And, um, I guess I'm glad you came, too." She gives me a small smile before turning back to Ginny. I take this opportunity to look away…and right into the eyes of the man that I had been trying to avoid.

"Hello, Granger." He greets me with a smirk that I'm oh so familiar with. Even after all these years, I still remember that smirk and how much I've wanted to wipe it off his face. I still do.

"Malfoy." I give him a look before turning away to show that I'm not interested in conversing with him. I guess he didn't get the point because he continues to talk.

"I don't mean to be rude…" He begins and I frown. When has Malfoy ever been anything _but_ rude when he's talking to me? "But, what in Merlin's name are you doing here? You're the last person I'd expect to show up at Pansy's parties."

He does have a point. It's like, if I saw Malfoy showing up at Harry's doorstep with a present for his birthday party. It's just not normal and me being here, surrounded by a bunch of wealthy pure-bloods who most likely hate me, is definitely not a norm.

"Well, as you can see, I was, literally, dragged here by my good friend, Ginny." I say her name with the most cheerful voice I can fake. I pretend to smile brightly at Ginny, when in fact I hate every minute of this and we haven't even been here long, but the girl's not even paying attention to me.

"Why didn't you just say 'no'?" He asks me. I wonder if he even realizes he's talking to me. Hermione Granger, the one with the dirty blood. Most hated of most pure-bloods especially to the Malfoys.

_Why do you even care?_ I wanted to say, but instead I hold back and decide to not be a bitch until he starts first. Throwing me an insult, calling me mudblood, whatever came first and, knowing Malfoy,itwill be coming soon.

"I tried, but Ginny is the type of person who won't back down when she has her mind set on something and she was set on making me come here with her."

"I see. Well, enjoy your time."

With that, he walks away and disappears into the crowd of people. I'm left staring at the spot where he previously stood, waiting for that insult that never came.

* * *

The party isn't as bad as I had expected. Everyone is very polite and I even found some to be good company unlike _someone_ who made me come here in the first place and then decide to ditch me. They all seem to be very interested in knowing more about me, which I don't know whether to find that flattering or creepy.

Yes, this party wouldn't be so bad…if I didn't feel like shit. I need to find somewhere to drink my potion, so I excuse myself from the circle that had formed around me and go in search for the nearest bathroom. As I walk upstairs and down the hall, I realize why I would never want to live in a mansion. It's huge! And I would probably get lost in my own house.

I reach a dead end at the end of the hall and turn back around to search the other side. I reach for a door near the right side of the wall when suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my chest. It's so painful that it nearly knocks me over. I stumble to the ground and I feel my breath becoming shorter. If I don't take my potion right now, I'm sure I'm going to die.

I try to sit up as much as I could without causing the pain to increase. Quickly grabbing my bag, I frantically search for the bottle. Another sharp pain hits and my hand jerks, causing everything to fall out of my bag including my potion bottle. It doesn't help that it decides to roll away from me. It isn't even that far away from where I lay, 2 inches at most, but I can't even lift my hand. It feels as if even the smallest movement causes my whole body to hurt.

"Damn it!" I cry and try to use everything in me to move towards it.

"What the…" I hear someone say behind me. "Granger, what happened?"

Why? Out of all the people in this huge manor, why did it have to be _him _who finds me here like this? A complete stranger would've been better than having him find me. He grabs me and helps me up, but as soon as he lets go I fall right back down, again. Thanks for nothing.

"Gi…give me tha…that bottle…" I managed to say.

I see him look around at the mess I've made and he picks up the tiny glass.

"What is in here?" He shakes it and holds it up to his face to have a closer look.

What is wrong with this guy? Doesn't he see me suffering here? Another sharp pain strikes and I cry out in agony. This seems to do the trick as he snaps back to his senses. I watch him crouch down to my level. At this point the pain is too overwhelming and I'm in a fetal position. I close my eyes tightly and I feel the sweat pouring from my face.

"Open up." I hear him say. How can he be so calm?

I open my mouth as much as I could. Second later, I feel the liquid slide down through my throat and instantly the pain is gone, like a miracle just happened in my body. I begin to breath in a normal pace and open my eyes. I blink a couple of times to clear the blurriness and as I look up I see Malfoy staring at me like he's analyzing me. I sit up slowly and lean against the wall as a sigh of relief escapes through my lips. The pain was so horrible that I can't believe I lived through it. That is something I never ever want to experience ever again. I close my eyes again because I know that if they were open, tears would soon be arriving.

"Granger, what is wrong with you?" Malfoys asks me. Even with my eyes closed I can still tell that he's frowning. But there's no way I'm going to tell him the truth. Out of all the people I know, he'd be the last one I would tell.

So, I do what I've been doing best. I lie.

"Don't worry about it, Malfoy." I say as I open my eyes. "I've been have a very bad fever lately and I forgot to drink my potion. That's all."

He raises his eyes at me like he doesn't believe a word I just said. Well, fine. He doesn't have to believe me. I begin to stand up and it surprises me that he's actually trying to help me up, holding on to my arm as he gets up himself. Does Malfoy have a twin brother I never knew about?

"Thanks, but I'm fine. You don't have to help me up." I tell him as soon as I'm fully standing.

"Too late now." He mumbles. I pretend not to hear it. "I think you should check with a professional because whatever illness you have, I'm pretty sure it's not a fever." He says. What does he know?

"I've already checked and it's a fever." I say to him.

"Well, whoever did a check up for you obviously doesn't know what they're talking about."

"And how would you know, Malfoy? What, are you a Healer or something? I highly doubt it."

I quickly turn to walk away, but at the last moment I swear I just saw a smirk spread across his face. Oh, he thinks this is funny, does he? Whatever, I could care less. I know he's still watching me as I walk down the hallway, but I don't even take a glance back. There's no way I'm going to stay here and listen to Malfoy of all people tell me what he thinks I should do. I don't care what he thinks….except, I hope he's not thinking about telling someone what he just saw.

Is it worth hoping, though?

**---**

* * *

**A/N #2:** Well, how was the first chapter? Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

:]


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2  
____________________________ **

_"Ignorance is your new best friend."_

- Ignorance (Paramore)  
**____________________________**

**---**

It happened again.

Even when I told myself I that it was a one-time thing, a result of not taking my potion on time, and it wouldn't happen again, it did. It came as such a shock. I can't even remember if it was something I did that triggered the sudden pain, but I remember that I was in my kitchen.

I took my potion at the assigned time and was starting to make some dinner when I felt the pain again. I don't even know which time was worse, but it felt like the second time is always worse than the first. I remember cursing, as the sharp pain became overwhelming and I began to shiver. Why? I don't even know, it wasn't even remotely close to being cold in the kitchen, but I was freezing.

I bent over to use the counter as support and began taking deep breaths to maybe ease the pain a little, but of course that doesn't work. Not even close. It was far scarier than the first time this happened because I already took my potion, so I had no clue what was wrong. Maybe I took it at the wrong time. Maybe I didn't take enough. The list could go on and on.

As the pain became even more unbearable I dropped to the floor, flat on my stomach, my cheek lying on the cold wooden floor. My chest was throbbing and I didn't know how to stop it. What could I do? I did the only thing I could at the moment. I cried.

I wasn't giving up. I never want to give up. But at that moment, I felt too weak. The pain was too much. And I needed to cry. A little puddle formed around the floor and I can't even reach my face to wipe away my tears. Maybe I should give up. It's the easy way out. It's the only way out. I closed my eyes as the last sharp pain kicked in and I blacked out.

* * *

I never liked anything that had to do with medical stuff. Most of it freaks me out when I just think I about it, especially needles. The though of sticking a long pointy piece of metal through your skin and injecting some kind of morphine, even if it's supposed to help you, just doesn't seem like a very comfortable or fun situation.

And, now that I'm sitting here waiting for the healer to give me my shot, I'm more freaked out than ever. But, of course, I must not show it. I mean, how would it look to them if a twenty-four year old went hysterical over a little shot? So, as I watch the healer prepare the needle for my injection, I sit quietly with a look of calmness swept across my face.

"Alright, Miss Granger," Healer Carter says as he turns around, needle in hand, "This won't hurt a bit."

Why does he insist on lying to me? Do I look like a fucking child? Of course it's going to hurt! You are sticking a needle _into_ my arm.

Just as all these thoughts run through my head, he jams the thing into my arm and pulls it out in less than a second. And I do all that I could to_ not_ kick him in the knee. I remind myself that it's something he has to do and it's supposed to benefit me. Maybe I need to kick _myself_ and grow the fuck up.

"And we're all done. Now, that should stop the reaction from the potions you've been taking." He says and wraps my arm with a bandage.

"So I won't be having anymore of those…'attacks'?" I ask him as I rub my arm that still stings.

"If the morphine I just injected does its job. But I'm pretty sure that you won't be having anymore of those reactions from the potions."

"That's good to know. Is there anything else you need to do?"

"Nope, you are all set for today."

"Thank you."

Healer Carter smiles at me and turns his attention to cleaning up the counter. I put my sweater back on and get up to leave when another thought hits me.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I have one more thing I wanted to talk to you about." I say to him.

"What is it?" The healer drops his task and gives me his fullest attention.

"Well, I've been feeling a little different lately. Like, I don't feel like my normal self."

"What do you mean? Could you elaborate more on that?"

"How am I going to explain this…" I ask more to myself. "I just…sometimes I feel as if I just want to give up. And I…cried for the very first time in a long time. When I had my second attack? I don't know what has gotten into me. I use to be so happy and…alive."

"It seems to me like those are signs of a minor depression, Miss Granger."

"What? No, I'm not depressed. I've never been depressed, well not for a while."

"I'm thinking it's a side-effect of the potions I'm having you take. It comes and goes, but it does affect you at different times. And, I'm sorry, but there's nothing that I can do about the side-effects."

I give him a nod before opening the door and walking out. I should've stayed in the room longer, three minutes at most. I should've asked more questions. I should've done anything _but _walk out that door because as soon as I walked out of the room and around the corner I run face to face with none other than Draco Malfoy. Well, it's more like my face and his chest, but the point is I ran into the one person I wanted to never see again. Oh, how I love my life.

"Granger? What are you doing here?" He says when he realizes that it was me he bumped into.

"I'm just…just visiting a friend! Yeah, she's…um, she's sick." I hope that was convincing.

He raises an eyebrow. "A friend? Who?"

"You don't know her." I say quickly. Why is he so nosy? "What are _you _doing here?"

"I work here." He smirks. That smirk…my mind flashes back to the other night…

"_Well, whoever did a check up for you obviously doesn't know what they're talking about."_

"_And how would you know, Malfoy? What, are you a Healer or something? I highly doubt it."_

Now I know why he was smirking at me! My jaw drops to the floor. You've got to be kidding me, right now.

"No, you don't." I blurt out. I'm not going to believe it. I need proof.

He backs up about six steps and moves his hands in an up and down motion towards his body showing off his green robes. The same green robes that Healer Carter was wearing. The same green robes all the healers around us are wearing. Well, there's my proof and simply put, I'm speechless. Since when was Draco Malfoy interested in working in the medical field? Since when was he interested in helping others, or even saving lives?

"Surprise, surprise." He finally says.

You got that right.

"I didn't know you wanted to be a Healer when we were in Hogwarts." I say to him, still a little dumbfounded. He snorts at my comment and rolls his eyes. Just by him doing that reminds of why I hate him.

"You didn't know anything about me when we were in Hogwarts. All you ever cared about was books and your loser friends. How you even got friends is beyond me." He says coldly. How dare he talk to me like that! I glare at him as my anger builds up.

"Oh, you think you know me so well, Malfoy. Well, I know you were selfish. I know you were a bully. I know you were an arrogant little bas-"

"That's enough!"

I jump at the loudness in his voice and my eyes become wide. I can tell that he's fuming because his breathing has become slightly heavy and has closed his eyes. I don't know what should surprise me more, the fact that I've caused Malfoy to react like this or the fact that even after all these years and all I've been through he could still cause me to be afraid of his very next move. I think the latter wins.

I consider leaving. His eyes are still closed and I could very well slip away without him noticing. But just as I was about to take a step back he opens his eyes, stares right at me, and I feel as if I'm locked into his gaze, unable to move. I never realized how grey his eyes are before and how piercing they can be. Then he turns around and leaves me standing there still a little daze by his eyes.

* * *

"Ron! Leave some for the rest of us, would ya?" Mr. Weasley says. Everyone around the dinner table turns to look at Ron, who at the moment was shoveling as much food as he possibly can onto his tiny china plate. We all let out a laugh.

"What? I'm hungry!" Ron says before diving into his plate of food. I shake my head at him and smile.

The Burrow is probably my favorite place to have dinner. Mrs. Weasley always has a home-cooked meal and it's always delicious. The environment in their home is warm and inviting and I always feel the most comfortable being here with all the Weasleys, and Harry of course. They are my family and I couldn't be any happier spending time with them.

"Hermione, dear, you look a little skinnier from the last time I saw you. Have you been feeling alright?" Mrs. Weasley says to me. Mrs. Weasley has been the biggest mother figure for me since my real parents are no longer around. She treats me as one of her own and I love her for it.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley. I've just been a little sick the past couple of days, but I'm fine now." I assure her. Though she doesn't seem convinced, she lets it go and I'm thankful she didn't continue to drill me about it.

The truth is, I haven't been eating as much as I should be. It's not that I'm trying to lose weight or anything. It's just that I never seem to have an appetite anymore. I know it's unhealthy to not eat and I try to force myself to have at least a little bit of something inside my stomach, but I just find myself sitting at the table staring at the barely eaten food.

After dinner, all of us split to do our own things. Mrs. Weasley is clearing off the table and I offer to help, but she just shoos me out of the dining room. I find Ginny, Ron, and Harry sitting in the living room and join them. As soon as I do, I regret it. The look on their faces when they watch me sit down showed me that they were definitely talking about me and it wasn't about something good.

"Hi guys…um, what were you three talking about?"

Should I even ask? I sit up and brace myself for what they're about to say.

Ginny takes a deep breath and turns to fully face me. She grabs my hand in hers and looks me straight in the eye. I become nervous as I look from her to Harry to Ron. Something is wrong and for some reason I don't want to know what it's about. The air around us suddenly feels thick and I feel as if I'm in some kind of intervention except I don't know what for. I look back to Ginny and frown. Why does she look like she's about to cry? And then it hits me. Oh no, did they find out about my…my…I can't even bring myself to say the truth.

"Ginny? What's wrong?" I manage to say, though my throat feels dry. I have a bad feeling that what they know is what I don't want them to know.

"Oh Hermione!" Ginny starts bawling and I don't know what to do.

I just want them to say it already. Just say it. Maybe then I'll accept it. There's something wrong with me. I get it. I want to cry myself, but I must hold it in for the sake of hiding the truth and myself. Harry comes over and helps Ginny move over so he could sit in front of me. Thank Merlin Harry and Ron are still here.

"Hermione," Harry sighs, "Please, tell us what has been going on with you."

"Wha..what are you talking about, Harry? I'm fine. Nothing is going on with me."

"Don't lie to us. Ginny heard from Pansy who was told by Malfoy that you were practically dying on the floor the night of Pansy's party. He said he saw you. Is that true? Please tell us he was just being Malfoy and making up lies."

I'm going to kill him. I'm going to go straight to St. Mungo's and kill him right then and there. I don't care if there are witnesses. He deserves what coming to him.

"Um, yes. He wasn't lying about what he saw, but I wasn't _dying_. It was just a minor attack."

"You had an attack?!" Ginny yells across the room. I nearly fall out of my seat at her screech. I hope that no one else heard that or I might have to explain myself in front of all the Weasleys.

"Okay, maybe attack isn't the right word to describe it…" I definitely need to stop using that word. "But it wasn't as bad as what I'm sure Malfoy made it seem like. I've just been having a fever."

"Hermione, we're just concerned about you. We want you to know that if anything is wrong you can always come to us." It was Ron's turn to talk this time.

"I know. Of course, I know that. And I want you, all three of you, to know that I will always come to you first if anything is wrong, but right now I'm fine. Please, just trust me. "

I feel the tears forming in my eyes. It isn't because I'm scared that they will find out about the truth. It's the fact that I continue to lie to my best friends and how it comes so naturally. It hurts me to lie to them and to have them think that I'm telling the truth. What kind of person have I become? How can someone do that to her best friend? I don't even know myself anymore. But I can't tell them the truth.

I just can't.

* * *

"Where the hell is he?!" I yell as I'm running into St. Mungo's, nearly tripping over my own feet.

I'm sure I look like a complete lunatic right now and everyone is probably staring at me, but I could care less. I'm livid and the one thing I want to do right now is to scream at a particular someone named Draco Malfoy. I should have known he would tell someone about what he saw. I should have known!

There was actually a part of me that thought he would at least tell someone who wasn't close to my friends, so they wouldn't find out. But no, he had to go tell _Pansy _of all people. The girl who became gossip pals with _my _best friend, who tells each other everything. Oh, and what's better than them working at the Daily Prophet where they could probably publish this story about Hermione Granger having a heart attack at Pansy Parkinson's dinner banquet. Merlin, just thinking about it is making me angrier and angrier.

That's it. Once I find him I'm going to let him have it…if I can find him that is. I'm not quite sure how big St. Mungo's is and I don't know which floor Malfoy would be on, but I do know that it will be hard for me to find him on my own. Well, what's a better start than here, where I saw him last? I spin around looking for that blonde hair and bump into another person. I was about to say some unkind words until I see who it is I just knocked over.

"Miss Granger?"

"Oh, Healer Carter! I'm sorry about that." I look to the floor, totally embarrassed. He probably thinks the potions have gotten me to go completely mental now, another side effect.

"No worries, Miss Granger. Are you feeling all right? Was there another problem with the potions I've given you?" He asks me as he brushes himself off.

I knew he would think that I'm crazy, but who wouldn't with the way I was acting earlier. And he probably thought I was looking for him when I came bursting in here. Maybe there is another side effect to the potions I've been taking causing me to get angry easily and acting like this. Or maybe it's just that no-good Malfoy.

"No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm just looking for someone I know who works here."

"Now, may I ask, who is it that you are looking for?"

"I'm looking for Mal…Healer Malfoy?" Boy, does that sound weird, like a foreign language I've never spoken before has sudden found it's way into my sentence.

"Oh yes, Healer Malfoy. Let me lead you to his office." The guy has his own office?

Healer Carter has already walked about halfway down the hall until I noticed he left and I had to run to catch up with him. We pass by a couple of doors and I couldn't help looking into each door. I notice that more than half of them have patients in there either crying their eyes out or a look of worry was spread across their readable faces.

Life is so unfair sometimes. It can be going great and then suddenly, before you can even stop it, something horrible happens and you are stuck to deal with it. How can people prepare themselves for that? It's so unpredictable that's it's something you can't prepare for. And that's why life is unfair. It's unpredictable. We reach Malfoy's door and just like everything else, what's going to happen in there is very unpredictable.

**---**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
______________________________**

_"Out of tune, this tale of terror. The solemn tolling of the funeral bell.  
I want to know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."_

- Is It Progression If A Cannibal Uses A Fork? (Chiodos)  
**______________________________**

**---**

I open the door to Malfoy's office as soon as I thank Healer Carter for showing me the way and watching him leave down the a hall for a few seconds. I forget to knock before entering, but I remind myself that I'm supposed to be angry. He went behind my back and told Pansy about what he saw and caused all this trouble with Harry, Ginny, and Ron. I should've told him not tell anyone about what happened, even though he probably would've told anyways. But I have a right to my privacy! And what happened that night was a private matter between myself…and him, I guess.

I walk into this office and find him sitting at his desk writing something down on a piece of parchment. I look around his room and notice that he likes to keep it very neat and tidy. I'm not all that surprised. I don't say a word as I take a seat on one of his chairs facing him. That Malfoy has not even looked at me the whole time I've been in here. I clear my throat to make my appearance known, but apparently he already knew it was _me_ who is in his office.

"What do you want, Granger?" He says without even looking up from his work. "Did you come back to try to prove to me, again, that you know me even though you obviously don't? If you are, you can save your breath. I don't want to hear it."

"Actually, I'm here because you had the nerve to go and tell Pansy what happened to me the other night at her party. And now she has told Ginny, who told Harry and Ron. Now there is a big mess and it's all your fault!"

He finally looks up from his desk and looks at me like I've lost my mind. Why is he looking at me like that? I know he knows exactly what I'm talking about. What's wrong with him? Perhaps he's gone deaf, or possibly mute. When he still doesn't say a word and just keeps staring at me, I become a little nervous.

"Are you going to say anything?" I ask.

I hope he didn't hear the quiver in my voice.

"Yes." He finally says. "What, exactly, did happen that night?" He places his elbows on the tables and sets his head on top of them while he keeps his stare on me like he's examining me.

Why is he turning the conversation back around to be about me? I came here to call him out, damn it. And all he does is bring it back like _I _did something wrong, like it's _my_ fault that it happened.

"I'm pretty sure I explained to you what was going on already and I did not come here to discuss it again with you. Why did you tell Pansy about it?" I ask with a stern voice, trying to let it known that I mean business and I'm not here to play games with him. But he doesn't even seem phased by it.

"I can tell whoever I want about anything I want." He leans back onto his chair and puts his hands behind his head as he says this. And I have the sudden urge to just push him hard so that he'd fall backwards.

"Not when it concerns someone else's private matters and without their consent to do so, first." I say a-matter-of-factly.

"You didn't say that I couldn't tell anyone, either. And since you seem to know me oh so well, you should've known that I would've told someone."

"But why'd you have to go tell _Pansy_ of all people?! You know she and Ginny are like the biggest gossipers of the Daily Prophet and not to mention that Ginny is my best friend. Now, she's freaking out over it., and Harry and Ron…"

"And you."

I blink twice.

"What?" I ask, not quite sure what he's trying to imply.

"Why are _you_ freaking out over it?"

He catches me off guard with this question.

"What? I'm no-"

"Don't try to deny it."

"I wasn-"

"If I remember correctly, you told me that you've been having a fever. Well, then why don't you just tell your friends that? Why is it_ so_ bad that they found out? If it really was just a reaction of your fever, which I highly doubt that's what caused you to collapse like that, then tell me, Granger, why are _you_ freaking out over it?"

He sits up and looks at me closely. Knowing how piercing his eyes can be, I look away and stare out his window. It was about nine in the evening and the stars were shining brightly in the sky. I spot the moon towards the left of the scene. It's shining just as brightly and its silver glow reminds me that I'm still sitting in front of Malfoy. I turn my attention back to him and notice that he hasn't moved his position even an inch.

"I…I just don't want them to worry about me."

"Why? Is there something they should worry about?"

"No, there is not." I say with fabricated confidence.

"Cut the bullshit and why don't you try to tell the truth for once?"

I'm this close to getting up and slapping him, but I know what he's doing. I'm not stupid. I know he's trying to get me to tell him the truth, to tell him what _really _caused me to have my sudden attack. He's a nosy bastard who needs to know everyone's business. But there's no way I'm going to tell him. Not after he went and told Pansy about the other night. He's already caused too much of a mess. I don't need him to go and blab about this too.

"Why are you so interested? Why do you even care?" I ask him, giving him his own medicine.

"Because I know something is wrong with you, physically, and I know that whatever it is, it's huge. It's so huge that you don't want anyone to know about it. No, I don't care about you, however…" He leans in closer to me like he's about to tell me _his _secret. "I am interested because I want to know what huge secret is causing Hermione Granger to lie to her best friends. And believe me, I'll find out. It's your choice whether you want to tell me yourself or not."

"I don't have to tell you anything." I say to him and fold my arms across my chest. I can be just as stubborn as the next person.

"Fine." He leans back onto his chair and fold his hands in front of him. "Let me inform you that I know for a fact that when you were here earlier you were not visiting a friend like you so claimed. I'll just take a look at your file in St. Mungo's and see for myself what you're not willing to tell me or anyone else for that matter."

"That's illegal!" I gasp. He wouldn't do such thing. He wouldn't! Not even Malfoys would put their job, especially a job as big as being a healer, on the line just to try to spite someone. "You can get into so much trouble for that and most likely lose your job!"

"Not if no one finds out. No one has to know if I look through your file."

"And what makes you think I won't say anything? That's a total violation of privacy. _My_ privacy!"

"I'll just deny everything, lie to everyone. That's something you're good at, right? Maybe you could give me some les-"

That is the last straw. I stand up so fast the chair I was sitting on falls to the ground with a loud thud and without hesitation I give him a big slap on the face. By this time, tears are free falling down my face, but I make no move to brush it away. I'm too angry, but I'm not as angry with Malfoy than I am with myself. I'm angrier with myself for letting him read me so well, for coming here in the first place, but most of all I'm angry at myself for letting him defeat me. I was supposed to come here and let him have it, to take him down for causing this entire mess just because he couldn't keep his big mouth shut. But instead he turns this around like I'm the one to blame.

Without another word, I turn around and leave his office.

* * *

I love my job. It may not be the best job a person can have and certainly not the best paying job, but I love it anyways. And now that I've been working here for the last three years, I can't imagine working anywhere else. Some may call it babysitting, but I consider it caring for children who need it most.

The place I work at is an orphanage where we take care of young children who have either been abandoned by their parents or if they're parents have passed away and they don't have any other guardians. The orphanage is quite big and is broken off into departments depending on the age range of the children. Then it's broken off again so that no more than ten children are in a room together. The smaller the group the easier it is to care for each of them and give them all the attention they deserve

I am assigned to one of the rooms in department two, which means it's one department up from the youngest children. Currently, we have seven orphans here ranging from four year olds to seven year olds. They are the most precious kids and they just light up my day. Not matter how I'm feeling before I walk into the building, whenever I see them running up to me with huge smiles on their faces, I feel my heart brighten up like the sun.

There are eight employees in total for our room and we all have different shifts with at least two employees together per shift. I work four days a week and start at seven in the morning until four in the afternoon. My partner is Luna Lovegood. She's the one who got me job here in the first place. At first, I was a little sketchy. Luna and I were never really close. I consider her a friend, though I wouldn't go and tell her my deepest darkest secrets…but, then again, I don't even tell my _best_ friends. After a while, though, she became a really good friend and, honestly, out of all the others who work here, I'm glad I got paired up with her.

As I'm walking inside the building, I'm getting so excited to see their little faces. So much has gone on since I've last seen them, and it's only been five day since my last shift. I just need to get away from all the craziness even if it's just for a while, even if I can't _really_ get away from it all. I open the door to the room where all the children should be sleeping, since it's still pretty early, but to my surprise they are all awake.

"Miss Hermione!" They all greet me simultaneously and, just as I had suspected, run up to give me hugs. I am reminded everyday I come here why I love my job so much and why I could never leave this place.

"Good morning, everyone! My, we all woke up early today, didn't we?" I smile at them.

"Why sleep when we can go play!" One of the older one shouts and, like always, causes the younger ones to follow in with their agreement. It's amazing how much influence someone older can have on the younger ones.

"Then why are you all still huddling around Miss Hermione? Come on, there's still a little more time before breakfast." Luna says from behind me.

"Yes, Miss Luna!" They all say at once and then disperse in their own direction, except for one.

"Miss Hermione!" The four year old, and youngest of all the children in here, girl exclaims like it's the first time she's seen me. She raises her arms to me and I can't help but smile at her. I pick her up in my arms and walk over to sit on her bed.

Ever since little Sara has been here, about a year ago, she's clung to me. She always asks for me when she doesn't feel well or if she's in a bad mood. She's usually the first one to greet me when I walk through that door and the last one to say goodbye when I leave. It broke my heart the first time I saw her. She was so small, she still is, but she looked so frightened that night they brought her in and I vowed to never have her feel that way ever again.

"Did you miss me, Sara?" I ask her this question every time I come back to work from my days off and even though the answer is always the same, I love to hear it.

"Always, Miss Hermione!" She looks up at me with her big blue eyes and I can't stop smiling at the little girl in front of me. Her golden blonde curls are a mess from sleeping, but she looks the cutest like this.

"What did you do this week?" I play with her little curls that have fallen over her face.

"I play with the new dolly that Miss Cara got for us and oh, she bringed a bunny! It was so cute, Miss Hermione! She was, she was! And she was a little one like me!"

"Sounds like I missed out." I laugh.

"Alright, everyone line up for breakfast." Luna calls from the front of the room.

All of our kids run towards her and just like she asked, they line up single file. Sara hops down from her bed and grabs my arm to pull me along with her. She surprises me with how much force and strength she has for such a small body.

The cafeteria is on the first floor so it's easier for the younger children to walk there. We enter and each child knows where they are assigned to sit. I excuse myself and walk into the lounge where the employees take their breaks. I make sure no one is inside as I take out my first potion of the day. With one more glace around the room I take a quick sip and slip it back into my bag, thankful that no one caught me…

"What was that?"

Damn it.

"What was what?" I ask.

"That bottle you just drank from. I saw you slip it into your bag."

"Oh that. Um, that was just water, yeah, water. I have a special bottle I like to keep my drinks in."

I know, I know. That was probably the most ridiculous excuse anyone could ever come up with and only a complete idiot would fall for that one. I didn't do a very good job of trying to convince Luna and although she looks dazed, like she always does, I know she doesn't believe me, but unlike everyone else she lets it go. Well, sort of.

"How were your days off, Hermione? Anything new happen?" She asks me as she takes a seat at one of the tables and starts eating her apple. I have no choice but to join her.

"Not that I know of…oh, did you know that Malfoy is a healer? At St. Mungo's? I found out yesterday." I say, maybe that'll change the subject a little and pull her away from what I know she wants to get out of me. Is paranoia a side effect too?

"Really? How'd you find out? Were you there yesterday because I know you don't talk to Malfoy on your own free will."

And, yet again, I have no such luck. Since when did Luna ask so many questions? She usually just accepts what someone says and leaves it at that. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she's interrogating me, but why would she be doing that?

"I was visiting a friend…" I didn't say this because I wanted to lie to her and get it over with, okay maybe a little, but what I_ am_ trying to do is to see if she really is interrogating me.

"A friend? Who?"

From that, I get my answer.

"Luna," I sigh, I'm not going to go on with this 'conversation' any longer. Now that I know she's just trying to get something out of me. "Why are you asking me so many questions?"

I just can't seem to escape the questions. Not from anyone.

"Look Hermione," She sits up straight and looks me straight in the eyes. I've never seen her so serious before. To be honest, I'm kind of frightened by it. I'll take Loony Lovegood over this serious one any day. "I'm not going to lie to you because I know you are a smart girl and you've figured it out. Ginny visited me last night and told me what happened and…"

Ginny. I should've known that little red head would be the one behind this. I can't believe she even resorted to telling Luna about what happened! I'm sure by the end of the week, every person will know.

"And what? I told her what happened. If she doesn't believe me than that's her problem. "

At this point, I've had it. This was supposed to be a secret. No one was supposed to know about anything that has to do with my heart problem. I was supposed to fully recover from this without anyone ever knowing about it in the first place. But one little slip up has caused such a mess that I don't even know if it's worth keeping it a secret anymore. I'll probably end up digging myself a bigger hole.

"Let me finish, Hermione. Ginny told me what happened and she does believe you. She really does. She was just upset at that you didn't tell her about it afterward."

"I didn't think I needed to…" I mumbled, one of the few truths that have come out of my mouth in a while, and look down at my hands that are lying on my lap.

"The thing is, she believes you, but…_I_ don't."

My head shoots up and I look at Luna, speechless.

"What do you mean you don't believe me? It's…the truth…" Well, there goes my truth streak.

"Is it really, Hermione? Or is it something else?" When I don't say anything, she takes that as her sign to keep going. "You might be able to fool the others because they really want to believe that nothing is wrong with you, but I don't think that a mild fever could cause an attack like that."

Suddenly, I feel like I'm back to having that conversation with Malfoy. I can't even get away from this mess at work! And to think I was looking forward to get away from it all. What am I supposed to say to that? Out of all the people, one would think that Luna would be the last person to get all serious. I need to think of something to say. Think Hermione, think. Who would've thought Luna Lovegood would be able to stump Hermione Granger?

"Miss Luna, Tyler spilt his milk on me!"

We both turn around to see Lily, one of the younger girls, standing in the doorway. Her shirt is drenched in milk and tears are streaming down her face. Luna looks back to me and gives me the 'we aren't finished' look before turning her attention back to Lily. Her seriousness disappears and the "normal" Luna that I know returns as she gets up to attend to the little girl, leaving me to sit in the lounge by myself. I wonder if it's a skill that she has to be able to do that, but then again I don't really want to know. I'm just glad the interrogation is over, but for some reason I know it's not the last one I'll have.

**---**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4  
____________________________**

_"Don't speak. I know just what you're saying.  
So please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts." _

- Don't Speak (No Doubt)  
**____________________________**

**---**

"Hermione, your birthday is in a week! I'm throwing you a huge birthday party, aren't you excited!" Ginny exclaims happily as she watches me prepare dinner for the two of us. Apparently, she felt that I've been distant with her and as best friends, we needed to spend more time together.

"Sounds wonderful, thanks Gin." I say cheerfully, anything to keep her from thinking something might be wrong.

It's a good thing my back is turned to her or she would've seen the distress on my face. It's not that I'm not grateful for Ginny being such a good friend. I just haven't been feeling in the mood to celebrate anything at the moment…or _any_ moment for that matter. As each day passes and I begin to take in more and more of the potions, I can feel the side effects kick in faster and stronger. I set the food down on the dining table and we eat in silence for a while.

"Actually, Ginny, I don't think it would be a good idea to throw a big party. Maybe just you, Harry, and Ron can come over and I'll cook dinner."

"But, why? It's your birthday! Wouldn't it be fun to celebrate with a lot of people?"

"I just want to be a low key thing. It's just a birthday. I have one every year."

"But this year you're turning twenty-five!"

"And next year I'll turn twenty-six, and so on. Besides, why would anyone want to celebrate turning a quarter of a century old?"

"Well, when you put it that way…and to be the oldest out of all of us…"

I lightly kick her under the table.

"You're supposed to make me feel better." I say this because, honestly, that's the only thing I need, the only thing I want…to feel better.

"I'm just messing with you, Hermione." Ginny laughs. I put on a fake smile. "But let me invite a few more people, please."

"Oh, alright. But no more than ten and that already includes Harry and Ron, which means you may invite eight more people. I mean it, Ginny!"

"Fine, fine. It's your birthday and I'll respect your wishes."

"Let's move on to a different topic. All this birthday stuff is making me depressed." I say quickly.

Besides, what I said is half true. I'm not in a good mood, but it's not my birthday that's causing it. Maybe talking about something else will help it.

"What would you like to talk about?" Ginny asks.

"How about what's going on with you and Harry." I say slyly. Ginny's face becomes almost as red as her hair and I stifle a laugh.

"What about us?" She says.

As if she doesn't know. Harry and Ginny have been dating for over four years and he just recently proposed to her about a month ago. Though they like to keep details about their relationship hush hush, I know that Ginny loves to talk about Harry and vice versa. I only wish that I could have a relationship just like theirs someday.

"When's the wedding date? I can't wait to start my maid of honor duties."

Ginny lets out a laugh. "Well, Harry and I decided to wait a while before actually starting to plan our wedding. We're both very busy at the moment, what with him working at the Ministry as an Auror and the Daily Prophet has already booked me for several interviews."

"All I can say to that is, I don't envy you one bit."

"Shut up, Hermione."

We look at each other for about three seconds before both of us break into laughter. I haven't laughed like this for so long that I can't believe I'm still capable to do it. And, honestly, it feels really good to be able to laugh like this again, even if it's only for the moment. I guess the saying is true, you don't know how much you miss something until it's gone. Although, in my case, it's a little different because technically my laughter is not completely taken from me, but the concept is very much the same.

We finish up our dinner and Ginny helps me clean up. I thank Ginny for coming over and just as she's about to open the door to leave, we hear a light tap on the window from the far end of the living room. I stare at Ginny with a frown on my face. She shrugs at and I go to open the window.

I don't usually get mail at this time of night and it's making me nervous as I grab the letter from the owl. It flies away seconds later and stare at the envelope. I fully expect it to be from the orphanage telling me that Sara is in a bad mood and wants to see me, but the envelope is different than the usual one that we use. I look at the seal and immediately recognize the St. Mungo's emblem.

"Who's it from?" Ginny asks from behind me. I'm a lot taller than she is so there's no way she'd be able to read over my shoulder. There's no way I'm letting Ginny see this.

"Oh, it's a message from work. They want me to go in for a while." I say and quickly stuff the letter into my coat pocket.

"Is little Sara acting up again?" Ginny asks. I nod my head and try to escort her out the door fast so that I can read what exactly is in the envelope, though I think it would be better if I didn't want to know. I almost make it through when she turns around and stops. I give her the 'what' look.

"Wait a minute. You didn't even read the letter. In fact, I didn't even see you open it!"

Oh, Ginny. Why do you have to do this to me?

"I recognize the seal that the orphanage uses and usually they only owl me when Sara needs me."

She narrows her eyes at me, but leaves it at that and walks out of the door. I say goodbye again and close the door. As soon as I close the door behind me, I lean against the door and slide down into a sitting position. What could possibly be in that envelope? I mean I know it's a letter, but what could it be about? There could only be two things that will come out of that letter. Good news or bad news. And from the pattern of what's been going on, I have little chance of good news.

I should read it. I should read it now. But I can't get enough courage to even take the envelope out of my pocket. What have I become? What has this…this growth the size of a peanut done to me? I'll tell you what it's done. It's made me weak. It's made me a coward. It's made me depressed. But out of everything it's done to me, nothing compares to how it's made me lie to my friends so many times that I can't even count them all.

I reach into my pocket and pull out the envelope. I've never seen my own hands shake so much. I stare at the thing in front of me and suddenly I realize…this is ridiculous. I don't even know what's in here. It could be a greeting card for all I know! What's the point in being afraid to open it when I don't have anything to lose? So, I break open the seal and take out the piece of parchment inside…

_Dear Miss Granger, _

_I am writing to remind you about the check up that I wanted for you after three weeks of drinking the potions. I have scheduled you an appointment for six o' clock in the evening next Friday on the nineteenth of September. Please owl me as soon as you can to let me know you have received this information. Thank you and I will see you on the nineteenth._

_Best,  
Healer Carter_

The nineteenth…of September. My birthday. I let out a sigh and get up to get ready for bed. At least it isn't something bad, but it isn't something good either. I was wrong. It isn't either good or bad news. It is both, combined. How ironic is it that the day I'm supposed to celebrate, to be happy, the day I reach another full year of being alive, I'm going to receive the news that's putting my life on the line. Maybe if I'm lucky this whole thing will just disappear. I could be normal again. On the other hand, luck could be just as pointless as hope.

* * *

I'm sitting here and I'm getting really impatient as I glare daggers at the little bimbo sitting behind the desk in front of the waiting area. That little bitch of a receptionist had the nerve to talk to me like I'm some kind of dimwit. Maybe I haven't been to a hospital in a while, but when you are scheduled for an appointment at a certain time, shouldn't they be ready by then? Or am I mistaken, because I was informed that my appointment is at six and it is already half an hour past that.

And she had the nerve to talk down to me, on my birthday nonetheless! Now, I'm never one to play the 'be nice to me, it's my birthday and I'm the boss' card, but do all the receptionists talk to the patients like that? Because if so, that is not a good way to treat someone, _anyone_, let alone a patient, especially in a place where they are getting treated. I'm going to have to file a complaint and let the-

"Well, well, well, look who we have here."

I completely throw the receptionist bitch out of my thoughts as a new target enters. I'm never going to get away from him, am I? I look up to see him smirking at me and my frown deepens, if that's even possible. He takes a seat right next to me. My day just gets better and better…not.

"Are you here visiting your friend again? Or are you here to finish me off with a slap to my other cheek? It feels a little bare." He says to me as he rubs his left cheek. I'm not looking at him, but I know that he is still smirking at me.

"No, I'm not visiting a friend and though your second offer is very tempting, I have more important things to tend to than to occupy myself with the likes of you." I say without even looking at him once. I'm not going to show him any emotion. I'm not going to show him that there's nothing more that I'd love to do than to slap him a second time. I'm just going to act like I don't care and maybe, just maybe, he'll leave me alone.

"Like what? Sitting in the waiting area? Oh, you are a very busy woman, I'm sure." He says sarcastically. I know he's trying to get something out of me. He knows he's capable of making me react the way he wants me to, but I just continue to stare straight ahead and not say anything as he continues to be an arse. "Actually, I'm a bit shocked, Granger. Were those true words coming out of your mouth or was I hallucinating?"

I snap my head over to my right and glare at him. "Stop talking like you know me so well. And don't you have anything better to do than to bug me? I mean you do work here, right? Or are you here just to spite me all the time, because if you are then you can quit your day job."

"What are you doing here, Granger?" He says casually, like we're really good friends, like he didn't hear a word I just said.

"Why I'm here is my business and my business, only. You, of all people, should know that keeping a patient's privacy private is the most important thing to abide by." I say coldly.

"So, you are admitting that you are a patient here. Interesting." He strokes his chin as if he's thinking really hard about something. "Well, since I am a Healer and not just some random bloke, I'm granting you permission to tell me why are you a patient here and what are you being treated for."

"You're giving me permission?" I laugh out loud, but not because I think it's funny, but because what he just said was absolutely ridiculous. "Listen, Malfoy, you may be a Healer here at St. Mungo's where I happen to be a patient, yes, but you are not _my_ Healer and I will never tell you anything. Got that?"

"Aren't we a little feisty today?" He stands up and I'm thanking Merlin that he's actually leaving, when he crouches down in front of me and looks me right in the face, smirk still plastered on. "Did someone forget to take their daily potions?" He says in a low voice before straightening up and walking away.

I'm sure my face looks priceless right now. My mouth is open in an 'O' shape as I watch him walk down the hall. How did he know that I've been taking potions? Just because I'm a patient here doesn't mean I have been taking potions. I could be here for many other reasons. And then realization hits me…there's no way he would've actually went and looked into my file. But, him being a Malfoy, it is very likely that he did. I don't have time to think about it right now, as Healer Carter comes out of his office and greets me.

"Miss Granger, my apologies for making you wait so long." He shakes my hand and leads me into his office.

"That's quite all right, Healer Carter." I say and take a seat as I mumble quietly so that he couldn't hear me, "I had someone who kept me company."

He settles in his chair across from me. "Before we start I just want to wish you a Happy Birthday." He smiles.

"Oh, thank you, Healer Carter. I didn't know you knew it's my birthday today."

"Of course, I know. It says it right here on your patient profile." He laughs. I put on a smile for him. "What are you wishing for your birthday this year?"

"I just want to hear good news, for once, to know that I am healthy again." I say truthfully.

"Well, I hope that I can do that for you."

After he does the usual for a check up, I, once again, am seated in his office. I fidget with my hands as I watch him look through my files. I realize, as ten minutes pass, that most of the time that's all I ever see him do.

What is written in there anyways? He could be looking at something not even remotely related to me. He could even be reading the Daily Prophet, for all I know. But finally he closes the file. He clears his throat and I sit up straight, waiting for the news. He rubs his forehead with his hand and from that one little movement, I know exactly what kind of news I am about to get.

"So…how does it look?" I ask.

"Miss Granger, what I'm about to tell you may seem a bit frightening…" He says to me.

"Is…is there something wrong?" I gulp.

"For some reason, the potion that you've been taking only did half of its job."

"What do you mean only half?"

"Well, like I told you the first day, the potions are supposed to stop the growing and shrink it down in size until it finally disappears. The problem is, is that though it did stop the growing, the potions have done nothing to shrink it." He waits for a reply, but I just stare at him. "And here's the part that is going to be a bit frightening-"

"Y…you mean that wasn't it? There's more?"

"Please, don't be alarmed by this, but it appears that two more growths has formed…"

"What?!" I yell and nearly fall off my chair from shock. "You're telling me that not only has the potions done nothing for me except turn me into an emotional wreck, but now I have not one but three growths?! And you expect me to not be alarmed by this!"

My breathing begins to quicken and becomes heavy as my mind races. One main question is floating in my mind, a question that has no answer. Why is this happening to me?

"I know this is could be quite overwhelming for you to take in at the moment, bu-"

"Overwhelming? That's the understatement of the century!" I let out a short sarcastic laugh. "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm pretty sure that you can't even begin to imagine how I'm feeling right now."

"You are right, Miss Granger, I can't image how you must be feeling from this news, but I need you to calm down." He says, and even though being calm is the last thing on my mind, I settle for it, but as soon as I do that's when the tears starts. "Miss Granger, I know this is a lot for you to take in-"

"I know. You said that already." I sniff. "What if…there is no…solution…and I end up…you know…dying?" I say with my voice barely above a whisper and in between sobs. Healer Carter hands me a tissue and I take it from him. "Thank you." I say before and blow my nose.

"Although I cannot promise you anything, I still want to assure you that I am going to try my best to find a solution to this."

"So, what should I do now? Just wait?"

"All I want you to do is continue taking those potions. Although they don't get rid of the growths, they do stop it from getting any larger and that's the most helpful thing right now as I look into what else can be done to completely rid you of them. Also, I want you to check with me once every two weeks so that I can keep track of your health."

I nod silently and look down to my feet as the tears continue to fall. I hear Healer Carter sigh and get up from his seat across the desk to sit next to me. "I'm so sorry I had to tell you this on your birthday, Miss Granger." He says.

I shake my head and wipe away my tears with the damp tissue. "You don't have to apologize, Healer Carter. It's not your fault I'm cursed." It was supposed to come out as a joke, but as soon as I said it, I believe it's the truth.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

_Yes, get me the fucking cure for this_, I want to say, but instead I just shake my head again. I feel to weak to answer. I just want to go home.

"Alright," He says and stands up. "I have a meeting to attend, but feel free to stay here as long as you'd like, until you are ready to leave." He pats me on the shoulder before he leaves the room.

Stay here as long as I'd like? Why in the world would I want to stay here? The place that has caused me the most distress I've ever felt. This is the last place I want to be! I need to get out of here. I get up and I run. I run out of St. Mungo's, I run past all the people looking at me like I'm crazy, I just run. I've never run so fast in my entire life and I feel my legs begin to get tired. My feet are aching and I know they want to give in, but I just keep running until I finally reach my house and I fall to the floor before I even reach the door.

My feet are worn out, my heart is pumping like mad, which is probably not a good thing considering the condition it is already in, and my eyes are red and swollen from crying. All I want to do right now is get into my house and go to bed. I get up slowly and reach to unlock my door. I walk inside into darkness. That's strange. I usually leave some light on, just so it won't be so dark in the house, but it's pitch black as I walk in. I hear snickering coming from the corner of the room and just as I turn on the lamp…

"SURPRISE!!"

A large group of people has gathered in my living room and my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. I completely forgot about the party! I look around at all the smiling faces. I want to say something, but I can't. Something's happening to me. I can't speak and I can barely hear anything except for my racing heartbeat. I faintly hear Harry calling to me. I look around at all the smile turned worried faces but I can't find him. I don't know where he is and I begin to panic.

I don't know if panic is what triggered it, but suddenly it looks as if the room is spinning and I start to feel dizzy. I put my hand on my forehead and close my eyes, grabbing onto the couch for support, but that doesn't seem to help. I start seeing double and before I know what happens, I fall to the floor as everyone surrounds me. Finally, the person I've been searching for appears in front of me.

"Harry…" I whisper so softly that I doubt he even heard me. I can feel his hand holding onto mine. The last thing I see is Harry's terrified face before everything goes black.

Happy Birthday, Hermione.

**---**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5  
_****____________________________**

_"For a change, I'll refrain from hiding all of me from you."_

_- _The Interview (AFI)  
**_____________________________**

**--- **

_Where am I?_

_I look around and all I can see is fog surrounding me in all directions. I begin to walk forward, but the fog around me becomes thicker. I feel like I'm floating. Maybe I'm on a cloud. Wait, if I'm on a cloud, then…did I just…die? No, I couldn't have. I'm probably just dreaming and any minute now I'll wake up. Only question is, how am I going to wake up and when? I continue to walk or should I say 'float' forward until I start to make out a figure that is slowing appearing in front of me. What is that? As it comes closer and closer, the questions changes to who is that? I can tell it's a person, but I can't tell which person._

"_Harry?" I call out to the figure, but I don't think he heard me because I didn't even hear myself._

_I still can't tell who that is, but it's very reasonable for it to be Harry who's standing a few feet in front of me. He's the last person I saw right before I entered this…this dream. He's probably here to come wake me up, to tell me that everything is going to be all right. I'm just happy to see a familiar face, to know that I'm not alone here, whether it be Harry or Ginny, anyone. _

_I want to get closer, but for some reason I've stopped and I can't move, at all. At least the figure in front of me is still coming forward, although very slowly. I can almost make out a face…and then, I notice it. The hair. His hair…is blonde. No, it can't be. He even haunts me in my dreams?! Okay, when I said anyone, I didn't literally _anyone_! At least send me someone who's decent to talk to. _

_But seriously, Malfoy? Really? We can barely go on a conversation for two full minutes without blowing up in each other's faces. Now I know for sure I'm not dead because there's no way Malfoy would've followed me into death. Who would be stupid enough to do that? The question is, why the hell is he in my dream? I wish I could turn around. I wish I could walk away from him. I really don't want to be talking to him right now, but as it seems I cannot move. I need to wake up, damn it!_

_All I can do is watch as Malfoy comes closer and closer. His signature smirk is spread across his face. Even in my dreams he's smirking at me. Does he even have any other expression? He's about to reach me when…wait, that's not the smirk I know. He's…he's actually smiling at me? Malfoy smiling? It doesn't even seem normal. He eventually gets close enough so that he's standing right in front of me. We're inches away from each other and I have to tilt my head to look up him. He's still smiling. _

_To be honest, I very much prefer this smile to the usual smirk. It almost makes him, dare I say, handsome? _

_My thoughts go blank as he brings his hand up to brush my cheek and pushes my hair back. My own hand, which is moving on its own accord, reaches up to touch his. There is not control over my body as I feel myself begin to smile. This vision has turned into some sick and twisted dream, if you ask me._

"_Hermione…" His voice is quiet, so silent that it's amazing I heard it at all. I can still hear his voice echo through my head. "I need you to wake up…" His voice is so soft, so comforting, that I don't want to wake from this dream. I want to stay here forever if it means that the comfort of his voice will stay here, too. That scares me._

"_It's okay, Hermione. Don't be afraid. Just wake up and I'll protect you."_

_Did he just…read my thoughts? This is supposed to be my dream, right? Then why is he able to read my mind, when I can't even lift a finger unless I'm being forced to by…I don't even know what's controlling me! I look at his face and the smile has vanished, replaced by seriousness. Our hands have never even let go once._

"_Hermione." He says again. "Please, wake up…just wake up…"_

_I'm trying as hard as I can here! But how am I supposed to wake up from this dream when I don't even have control over my own body? All he keeps saying and all I keep hearing is 'wake up'. The words are playing over and over like a broken record in my head and are causing my head to spin. I close my eyes tightly as my mind begins to spin in circles again, with the words still chiming in the background._

"_Stop! Just stop!" I want to scream, but nothing comes out. The spinning is getting out of control and I'm falling into a mind warp. _

"_Wake up, Hermione…" _

* * *

I finally open my eyes again to find that I'm no longer surrounded by fog. After blinking several times and looking around, I realize that I'm in my room, lying on my bed. The light is lit, but the room is empty and the window is slightly ajar. I try to get up, but once I lift my head a massive pain strikes. A groan escapes my lips as my head falls back onto the pillow. As I lie perfectly still, trying not to make a movement that might cause my head to ache, my mind drifts back to the dream.

Dreams are a part of life that is hard to figure out. It's a wonder why we have dreams at all and what they mean to the person having that specific dream. Do we have dreams because we are being warned of something, possibly getting a glimpse of what might happen in the future, or do they just happen because life likes to play mind games with us? If there is a book out there with this information than I definitely have to read in on it because I want to find out why the hell Malfoy was in my dream.

To make it even worse, he wasn't even acting like the normal Malfoy that I know he is. The first time I saw him, I was angered. Did he like to torment me so much that he would even show up in my dreams to do so, I thought. But as he came closer and I saw the warmth of his smile, I knew that torment wasn't the case. This Malfoy was kind, gentle as he brushed the side of my cheekbone. His voice was comfort to my ears. He spoke with such plea that if it were any other person, I'm pretty sure that my heart would've melted…

But back to the main point, Malfoy, not Harry not Ron, but _Malfoy_ was the one in my dream. It just doesn't make any sense! I haven't seen the guy for years and after seeing him again a little less than a month ago, he's everywhere! It's like he just popped out of nowhere, decided to just show up around here again, but he never left.

My head snaps over to the door when I hear the doorknob turn and someone walking in. Speak of the devil…

"Look who decided to finally wake up…" He says to me and offers himself a seat on the edge of the bed, right next to me.

"What are you doing here?" My voice is hoarse and I realize my throat is really dry.

Malfoy picks up the glass of water on my nightstand that I didn't even know was there. He helps me sit up and even holds the glass for me as I drink the water. Am I still dreaming? But, as soon as the water enters my mouth and I swallow it, I begin to cough violently. That was definitely not water that just slid down my throat.

"What the hell did you just make me drink?!" I say after the coughing dies down. "Are you trying to poison me?"

"It's something to help with your headache. You're welcome." He says and places the glass back on the nightstand.

"I'm surprised you're even willing to help me."

"We may not be on great terms with each other, Granger, but as a professional I'm trained to help in this type of situation no matter who happens to be the victim."

He even talks like a professional, sheesh.

"Not on great terms with each other? Ha! It's okay to say it, Malfoy. We _hate_ each other."

"Contrary to popular beliefs, Granger, I don't _hate_ you."

"Yes, you do." He's just saying that to make me seem like the bad guy, while he's helping me. Good one, Malfoy, but I'm not falling for it.

"No, I don't." He insists.

"Yes, you _do_."

"No, I _don't_. Now, stop being so stubborn. You're worse than most children I've worked with."

I gasp at his words and glare at him. "You're not very good at proving what you claim, Malfoy."

"It doesn't help when you don't even me a chance to prove it."

"All right," I sit up straight on my bed and lean against the backboard. "Prove yourself. I'm listening."

"This may come as a shock, but I never hated you. A strong dislike, maybe, never hate."

"So, why did you treat me like scum when we were in Hogwarts?"

"Why did you think I did, Granger? I had to put up a front, especially in public, especially around you and Potter and Weasley...mostly you, though, because…" He pauses and stares down at his feet like he doesn't want say the word.

That's okay. I'll say it for him.

"Because I'm a mudblood…"

He nods and takes a deep breath before getting up and starts pacing around the room like a caged animal.

"Do you know how hard it was to have people watching you like a hawk? I can't speak to anyone from another house or the Slytherins might think the all mighty Slytherin prince was some kind of betrayer. I can't involve myself with mu…muggle-borns in any way other than pure hate because my father would destroy me for ruining the Malfoy reputation."

"Well, why didn't you just-"

"Just what? Just go ahead and throw all that to the side? Forget about the fact that the outcome of what I want to do could result in dangerous results and just do it anyway? I can pretty much guarantee you that if I did that, I would not be sitting here today."

He stops pacing and returns to sit on the end of my bed.

"Okay, well I understand why you were such an arse back then, but you're still not very polite now, either."

"You do realize that you're the one who always starts it first, right? Plus, it's so much fun to watch you get all riled up over words."

"What? No, I'm…well, you…uugghh.." Damn it, he's right. I've been the one to never give him the chance. I'm always jumping to the conclusions that he hates me and all he wants to do is torment me. I hate it when I'm called out.

I'm expecting him say he told me so, or make another rude comment and I find myself jumping into conclusions, yet again. But I get the shock of a lifetime when he starts to laugh. Malfoy is laughing? Is that even possible?! It's not like a cruel laughter, either. It's actually a laugh out of humor. Maybe I'm shocked that I have never heard Malfoy laugh like that before, or maybe I'm shocked that _I _haven't laughed like that in a while. His laugh only lasts for a few seconds before he stops, but I still hear it, like how I can still remember his voice from my dream. We sit in silence for a moment. Neither one of us knowing what to do or say.

"What are you doing here?" I re-ask my question from the first time I saw him come in. "I apologize if that sounds rude, and I know you're here because I…well honestly I can't remember what happened, but why did they call for _you _to come?"

"You were probably already a bit light-headed so you didn't notice all the people around your living room. I was already here, attending your birthday party."

"Oh shit, the party!" I can't believe I completely forgot about it, again! "Wait a minute, you were invited?"

"Yes."

"By who?"

"Weasley."

"Ginny invited you? I told her she could invite ten people, and she picked you as one of them? No offense, but I didn't think you two were so close…"

"None taken and no, we're not 'close'. Weasley invited Pansy and said that she could bring a friend, which she picked me. And you said the maximum was ten? Well, either the little Weaslette went behind your back and invited twenty more or she doesn't know how to count. And I really hope it's not the latter…"

"Twenty more people?!" I practically yell loud enough so that the whole neighborhood heard me. "I'm going to get that little-"

"You do know that they are all still outside, right?"

"Everyone's still here? How long was I out for? Are they worried? Oh my goodness, how embarrassing for me to have everyone see me like this, at my birthday party nonetheless! Oh-"

"Granger, calm down! You were unconscious for about two hours. Yes, everyone is still here and yes they are worried about you, especially the Weasleys and Potter. I didn't want them to come in just yet because I didn't know if you wanted to explain to them about your…situation."

Oh right, my situation…

"Do you…know about…"

"Not in full detail, but I do know that you cannot blame what happened on your fever, again. Well, not to me at least, but I'm not going to pressure you into telling me what it is because I, of all people, know that keeping a patient's privacy private is the most important thing to abide by." He says.

The sentence that sounds so familiar...and then I remember that that is almost the exact same sentence I said to him, except switched, at St. Mungo's earlier this evening. I can tell that he knows I've figured it out by the smile that spreads across his face. The smile from my dream, the smile I thought I would never see again. And I can't help but smile back. Our exchange only lasted three seconds, at most, until he stops it by getting up. The real Malfoy returns.

"You should probably go outside, let them know you're awake." He gets up and walks towards the door.

"Yeah…um, Malfoy?" I call to him just as his hand is about to turn the knob. He turns around to face me and I forget what I wanted to say. "I just…wanted to thank you."

"For giving you that headache potion that taste like shit?" He laughs.

"Well, yeah, I guess, but also letting me know that you don't really hate me."

"I don't have a reason to." He shrugs. "Maybe I was annoyed with you back in Hogwarts most of the time, but I guess you couldn't help it that you were such a know-it-all, bookworm, teacher's pe-"

"I get the point." I say with a glare. "You know, you could be a really nice person if you tried hard enough."

"You're not going to go spread rumors about me now, are you? You'd ruin my reputation."

"You don't have a good reputation to begin with, so I'd be doing you a huge favor."

He just rolls his eyes at me. "See you out there, birthday girl. Make sure you don't faint again. I can't guarantee that I'll be willing to help you a second time. You're kind of a handful for someone who claims to be-" I throw a pillow just as he closes the door, missing his head. What happened to that Malfoy from my dream? I'd like to make a switch for that one, the one who found me when I was lost, the one who made me feel so at peace with just his voice, the one who helped me wake up…

The one I hope to dream about again, someday.

**---**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6  
__________________________________**

_"Is there something more I should have known? I know that I wonder."_

- Follow and Feel (Saosin)  
**__________________________________**

_**---**_

"Hermione, you have to let me stay with you. " Ginny pleads with me. I set my cup of coffee down on the table and look out the coffee shop window. It's such a nice day today. Why can't Ginny just let this topic go for a moment?

Ginny hasn't stopped bugging me about staying at my place since the night of my birthday party. She wants to make sure that I'm "okay" and that I don't have another "episode" like that again and not have anyone there to help me. I suppose she has a good point and she's just being the worried friend she is. But the constant nagging has been irritating to the point where I'm about to lose it.

It's not that I don't think Ginny would be a good roommate or she'd be annoying, although the latter is pretty likely, it's just that I'm afraid of what Ginny might find out if she stays with me. Like what if Healer Carter just happens to owl me again and Ginny decides to read it or what if she spots the potions lying in the cupboard. I would never hear the end of it and I just can't risk that.

"Maybe just for a couple of weeks?" She continues. I usually fall for he pleads and begs, but this is something I won't allow myself to fall for.

"Ginny," I begin and I can already tell that she knows what I'm about to say by the roll of her eyes and the crossing of her arms. "I really don't think it's necessary for you to stay with me. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah? Well, what would've happened if no one were there that night of your birthday party? You would've died, Hermione!"

"I just fainted, Gin. If no one was there I probably would've just woken up an hour later on the floor." Ginny opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. "_And_, the only reason why I fainted was because _you_ invited so many people to my house, when I specifically said no more than ten, and it took me by surprise."

I should win an award for being the fastest person able to make up a lie on the spot. It comes out so fast, it's almost natural to me.

"Yes, you already gave me a lecture on that. It was your birthday, Hermione! Ten people was definitely not enough and I didn't know it would frighten you to the point where you pass out."

"And you invited Pansy?!" I say, trying to switch the topic back around to Ginny.

"What?" She says, like it's a given that Pansy was invited to my birthday party. "She invited me and _you_ to her end of the summer dinner banquet. So, I wanted to invite her to my party."

"First of all,_ she_ did not invite me. _You_ invited me. And second of all, technically it was my party. You just wanted to be the hostess and planner."

"Well, you didn't even want the party in the first place and I did everything for it, so technically it's my party. You just happen to be the guest of honor."

"Fine, fine." I sigh. This conversations I going nowhere fast. "I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about the dumb party."

We sit in silence for a while, enjoying our coffee. I look out the window again. The streets were busy and filled with many people who looked like they were all in a hurry to go somewhere. Inside the coffee shop there were a good amount of customers, but not so much that it's overflowing in here. I look around at them all and see that most of the costumers are couples having lunch together. I don't know why, but for some reason this makes me sigh. I look down at my coffee and suddenly I feel like crap. I convince myself that it's the side effect kicking in again and not that I wish I could be just like those couples.

The bell on the coffee shop door rings as someone enters. As if it was a reflex, my head jerks over to see who walked in…and I nearly choke on my coffee. I'm never going to get rid of him, am I? Ginny looks at me like I'm about to faint again. I clear my throat and nod my head over to the person that walked in. She looks over her shoulder and I'm thinking that she's about to tell me that we're leaving and I'm about ready to jump up and go, but she does the last thing I ever expected.

"Hey Malfoy! Over here!" She yells at the top of her lungs and waves her arms around the air like a crazy person.

What is she doing?! I don't even know this girl anymore! The Ginny I know does not call out to Malfoy like he's been our good friend for years. He looks over at us and then he starts walking towards our table. I'm about speechless at this point. This is not happening right now.

"Ginny, what are you doing?!" I whisper to her as Malfoy is approaching our table.

"I invited him." She says casually.

Now I've heard it all. First Pansy, now Malfoy? She's definitely crossed over to the dark side, if you ask me.

"Why would you do something like that?"

"Because he helped you out when you fainted the other night and I feel like you need to thank him."

"I already did! Besides, he didn't even do anything!" I say to her. "All he did was give me some horrible potion that tasted worse than anything I could imagine."

And also came to me in my dream, made me feel comfortable with just the sound of his voice, and helped me to wake up. But, of course, that's something I wouldn't tell anyone, especially Ginny.

By this time Malfoy had already made his way to our table and sat down right next to me. I stared straight ahead without even glancing at him. I can feel his eyes on me and that ever so charming smirk he's giving me. I'm kidding about the charming part.

"Well, I'll be going." I hear Ginny say and she suddenly stands up.

"What?!" I nearly shout at her. "Why are you leaving? You invited him here!" I point to the man sitting next to me.

"There's really no need for me to be here any longer. I'll meet you back at your house later tonight. Bye!"

Before I could reach out and grab her arm, before I could even say her name, she was out the door. A groan slips out of my mouth and I slouch down on my chair. It's silent for a while before I hear Malfoy call for a waiter and order a cup of coffee. He then moves to sit across from me and continues to stare at me. Am I that interesting to look at? This goes on for a little longer, before I get annoyed.

"What?" I snap at him.

"I was just seeing how long you could stay silent for." He says causally and leans back on his chair. "I must say, I'm impressed, Granger."

"Why are you here, Malfoy?"

"Your little red-headed friend invited me," The waiter comes by and places his cup of coffee on the table. I watch as Malfoy thank him and take a sip. "And I didn't want to be rude so I accepted her invitation."

"Well, as you can tell, the person who invited you left, so could you please do the same?"

"What are we doing today?" He takes another sip of his coffee and sets the cup down in front of him. He looks up at me, completely serious.

I blink twice.

"What do you mean, what are _we_ doing today?" I ask, still a little confused. "I don't have any plans for _us_."

"I'm going wherever you are going, Granger. You really don't have a choice."

"What are you talking about? I have no choice? Of course I have a choice! I don't want you following me!"

"Well, I suppose you're correct about having a choice, but not about what you think you have a choice on."

I close my eyes and shake me head. "You're really confusing, Malfoy."

"Let me explain it to you, Granger." He sits up straight and begins, "Don't you find it a bit strange that your friends aren't curious about your sudden attacks and you fainting? Sure they question you about it, but they accept whatever lie you tell them no matter how ridiculous they may be. Now I know they might not know all the medical details and such, but I'm sure that if it were Ginny who was the one with all these problems, you'd be on her case like nobody's business and wouldn't let her go with just a simple, _'it's a fever.'_ Am I right?"

I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him he's wrong, but of course, yet again, he's right. If it were Ginny or Harry or Ron who was suddenly fainted or was seen on the verge of death I would've questioned them to no end and wouldn't have fallen for the 'fever' trick.

"Get to the point will you?" I say.

"The point is, I'm the reason they don't question you. I'm the reason why they don't lock you up in a room and not let you out because of what they think might happen. I'm the reason why your lies are actually working."

"Wha…what?" I stumble over my words. "What do you mean?"

"Because I am a Healer, they believe my word. The night of your party, after I left your room, they asked me what was wrong with you. They told me about your claim of having a fever. It was very hard for me, but I went along with your little charade and they believed me."

I'm speechless for a moment.

"Why did you lie, too? Why didn't you just tell them?" I finally say to him.

"Hey, I'm not the one that's going to drop the bomb on them and have them come at me like their prey. They are your friends and you have to be the one who tells them the truth. Besides, I don't even know what the real sickness you are suffering from is."

I sigh and sit with my head in my hands. All this is coming at me so fast. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Well, this goes back to the choice thing. The little red head asked me to tag along with you today to make sure that you're feeling better and nothing like what's happened to you before happens again. I said yes. So here's where the choice comes in. Either you let me go with you or I tell Ginny that everything you've told her is a lie."

The tone of his voice makes my heart race and my eyes wide. This has become a game to him, a sick and twisted game that I have no choice, but the play. He was right from the beginning. I literally have no choice.

"But why would you agree to something like that? Why would you _want _to follow me around?"

"That I can't tell you."

"What do you mean you can't tell me?!"

"Well, I mean I can, but I'm not going to. At least not yet, anyway." He says casually. I glare at him and am about to tell him no when he starts again. "Listen, how about if you let me go with you today, I'll tell you my reason."

I think about it for a while…damn it, I really want to know why he wants to tag a long with me today! Being nosy is something that is going to cause me more trouble than anything. I can't help it, so I nod my head.

"Fine, but you can't do anything mean or rude, anything like that."

"Define 'mean' and 'rude'."

"Basically, don't be your normal self and everything will be fine."

"Well, what fun would that be, Granger?"

He smirks at me and drinks the rest of his coffee. I bite my tongue before I become a hypocrite myself. I call the waiter to get the bill and to my amazement Malfoy pays for the entire thing. I guess amazement is the wrong word because it's really not that hard to believe and saying 'the entire thing' isn't that big of a deal since all there really was on there was two cups of coffee. He sends the bill away and looks up at me with the slightest smile and I involuntarily flashback to my dream. For an instant I felt like I was seeing that Malfoy from my dream again, but it quickly vanished.

"Well, where are we going on this fine day?" He asks as he gets up to put his coat back on. I do the same and we walk out of the coffee shop together.

"I'm going to visit the place I work at."

"Your work? Who visits their work? Granger, when people have the day off, which I'm assuming you do, they don't just go visit the place they work at. Are you that bored? Want me to take you somewhere?"

I glare at him from the side.

"I'm not visiting because I'm bored, I'm visiting because I want to see someone."

"Someone you fancy?"

"You'll see when we get there."

I'm not looking at him, but I can tell by the silence that Malfoy is really curious to who I'm looking forward to see. I giggle silently and we continue to walk in silence.

When we arrive at the orphanage I can already see the confused look starting to form on Malfoy's face when we enter the front door. He's looking around like he doesn't know where he is and begins to sniff and crunch his nose as if he smells something rotten. He definitely looks out of place, what with his nice and probably really expensive suit while all the workers are wearing worn out uniforms and the children are wearing old clothing which were donated. He's also one of the few men who have ever entered this orphanage. The kids will surely get a kick out of this. I'm actually scared for him as we finally enter the room that I work in.

Once I open the wooden door, all heads are turned and all eyes are on us. After a few seconds of silence the kids all jump up and race towards us all while screaming their greetings. I couldn't help the laughter when I see the look of horror on his face as all these little children are running up.

"Granger…" I can barely hear him say over the kids' yelling. I feel him tugging on my arm trying to pull us out of the room, but I'm not letting him. Hey, he wanted to follow me so this is what he has to endure.

"Miss Hermione!" "Are you visiting us today?" "You brought a friend!" "Who's this, Miss Hermione?"

All of this is thrown at once, but I'm use to it. I love seeing the excitement on their faces and I know how bored they get being in the same place all day, everyday.

"Hello everyone!" I greet them cheerfully, crouching down to their level. "I brought a special guest for you all today. His name is Mr. Malfoy. I want you all to be nice, okay? Mr. Malfoy isn't very good with being surrounded by others." I mumbled the last part, but just a little so that I knew Malfoy heard me. All the children nodded their heads.

"Alright!" I clap my hands as I stand up. "Now, who wants to show Mr. Malfoy around the room?"

A sea of tiny hands shoot up in the air and eager faces from the little ones becomes visible. I laugh aloud at the sight and motion for them to take Malfoy away.

"Granger…" Malfoy calls out to me, the nervousness in his voice making me laugh even more, but all I can do is shrug as the kids grab a hold of his arms and starts tugging him towards part of the room. "Hey! Don't touch me there! What are you doing?! Granger!"

I continue to laugh as I watch them drag Malfoy around the room, all of them talking at once. This is what he gets for agreeing to follow me. As I continue to watch, I suddenly feel a tug on my coat and look down to see the reason why I came here in the first place.

"Hello Sarah!" I bent down to pick up the little girl in my arms and swung her in a circle, her small giggles filling my ears.

"Miss Hermione, you came today!" She exclaimed as I set her down on the floor again.

"I wanted to surprise you." I smile at her.

"Oh, I really like the surprise! You should surprise me more often."

"I'll try." I say and let out a laugh.

Sarah grabs my hand and pulls me towards her bed and tells me to sit down. She grabs something from underneath her pillow and hands it to me. I look down at my hands to see a small bracelets made from all sorts of different colored beads. I knew at once that Sarah made this for me.

"I made this for you, Miss Hermione. Yesterday we had arts and crafts and they let us make bracelets and I made one for you! Do you like it?" She says all at once.

"Of course I like it, darling. I love it! Thank you so much." I put it on and notice that it's a little too big, but I hide it from her.

"All right, time for lunch, little ones!" I hear one of the workers call out and all of the children running towards her direction.

I look up to see Malfoy walking towards me and I couldn't help but let out another laugh. He looks as if he'd been in a tornado storm. He had a glare on his face, but he didn't say anything until he sat down on the Sarah's bed. He turned to look and me and opened his mouth to say something, probably something not nice, but was interrupted by the little girl in between us.

"Is this your boyfriend, Miss Hermione?" Sarah asks in a cherry voice.

Malfoy quickly closes his mouth and looks away. I smile, but I can feel my face starting to get red.

"No he's not. He's…um, just a friend."

"Ooh…so do you fancy him, Miss Hermione?"

At this point I could probably pass for a tomato. I'm surprised to hear this question come from a four year old. She must've been hanging around the other caretakers who gossip too much. I look up to see Malfoy now looking at me, laughing.

"Yes, _Miss Hermione_, do you fancy me?" Malfoy had the nerve to say to me. What an arse. I glare at him for a slight second, but change my expression when Sarah turns to look at me, waiting for my answer. Her innocent little face is quite curious, I can tell.

"No, I don't." I say confidently. "Unfortunately, he decided that he wanted to come here. I had not choice, but to let him come."

"Oh…" She then turns to Malfoy. "Hey Mr., do you think Miss Hermione is beautiful?" Sarah says with a little grin on her mischievous face. I never knew how sneaky this one is.

I gasp at her question and quickly change the subject before this gets really uncomfortable.

"Sarah you should probably go to eat lunch with the rest of your friends."

"Will you come with me, Miss Hermione?"

I hesitate for a while, but eventually give in. The three of us stand up and exit the room. Sarah and I start walking towards the cafeteria, but then I notice that Malfoy wasn't next to us. I turn around and see him walking off in the other direction.

"Hey Malfoy, where are you going?" I call out to him.

"I'm leaving. I'll see you next time." He says without even looking back at me.

I frown, but shrug it off as I walk with Sarah to the cafeteria still wondering in the back of my mind why Malfoy would choose to follow me in the first place.

**---**

* * *

**A/N: **Hey guys! So I don't normally have author's notes, but I will stop in once every few chapters to check up on things and clear some stuff up if needed.

Thank you to all those who have been leaving me reviews!  
I've been getting a lot of reviews concerning Draco being uncaring and a jerk. All I have to say to that is, don't worry about it. A new side of Draco will be revealed soon. ;]  
Oh, and someone asked why Hermione was looking for Harry a few chapters back when she was having another attack at her birthday party. That reason is because she heard his voice calling for her and she couldn't find him. It's nothing more than she was looking for her best friend for comfort. :]

Until next time, my lovelies.

~Darling Chibi


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7****   
__________________________________ **

_"The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row.  
 It seems farther than ever before.   
Oh, no.  
I need you so much closer…I need you so much closer."_

-Transatlanticism (Death Cab For Cutie)   
**__________________________________ **

**---**

_I look around at the darkness that has somehow captured me. I'm dreaming, that much I know, but I'm not quite sure what this dream is and where I am. I'm not usually afraid of the dark, but this is different. It is pitch black and no matter where I turn, I see nothing. The cold feeling is slowly creeping on to me and I try to pull on my jacket to get warmer, but I don't seem to be wearing one. I shiver as a cool breeze passes by and decide to walk forward in search of some light. The darkness does not seem to be ending and it's as if I'm moving my feet, but I'm not moving anywhere._

_I turn to my left and, suddenly, a light appears out in front of me. It's small and dim, but it's there and I run to it. The comfort of seeing light has never felt so great. The light was far from where I stood, but I reached it in a matter of seconds and I can now see where it's coming from, a huge manor. It looked to be about thousands of years old. The outside was covered in vines and moss. The windows were all dusty and some are even broken in certain areas._

_I look to the front door and see that the source of the light is coming from the little lamp in the front porch. Another cold breeze blows by and I decide to go inside, hoping for some warmth. As I take a step onto the old wooden porch, it creaks. I hurry so that it wouldn't collapse all together underneath me and swallow me whole. The knob on the front door was as cold as ice. I push open the door and step inside._

_Once inside, I was outside again. Through the front door, I entered into the outside garden and it is beautiful. The front of the manor must've been some sort of trick of false impressions because it was nothing like what the back of the manor is like. There are flowers everywhere, the most exotic ones I've ever seen. I continue to walk and end up inside a labyrinth, the gorgeous flowers never fading as I walk farther and farther in. At the end of the labyrinth I am presented with a white gazebo surrounded by hundreds of tiny little lights. It feels just like a fairytale._

_I jump when there's a movement coming from inside the gazebo. I take a few steps closer and squint my eyes, trying to make out what or who is inside. I'm about five steps away from walking into the gazebo when the figure turns around to face me. I let out a gasp and step back when I realize that it's Draco Malfoy who's standing there._

_He is smiling at me. His eyes are soft and calling like he had been waiting for me all this time. He extends a hand out and I'm suddenly drawn to him. As his hand captures mine and helps me into the gazebo, I smile brightly knowing that I'm seeing him again. I've been having dreams with Malfoy for a while now after the night of my birthday party and every time I see him I'm given this feeling of hope and comfort._

"_Hey." He says to me, my hand still in his. He leads me to the bench on the other end of the gazebo and we both take a seat._

"_Hello." I finally say, my voice barely above a whisper. I wonder if he heard me._

"_You look beautiful tonight, Hermione."_

_Beautiful? I look down and notice that I'm wearing a dark red dress. It's a little more revealing than I'd like and definitely something that I probably wouldn't choose to wear._

"_Thank you…" I say, but it comes out more of a question than a statement. He smiles at me again and it makes me feel warm inside. I look away quick before I stare at him for hours. I look around at all the lights and flowers that cover the gazebo. It really is like a fairytale._

"_Why are we here?" I ask._

"_You told me to meet you here."_

"_Wait, what?" I told him to come here? "No I didn't…"_

"_But, you wanted to see me, right?" He looked at me with confused eyes. Well, that makes the two of us._

"_Yes..." More than you'll ever know…but I'm not about to tell him that, even if it is a dream and it's not the same Malfoy as the one in my real life._

"_Then that's all that matters." He said softly._

_He brushes his fingers lightly on my cheek. His gentle touch was more than I could ask for…and at that moment, something hits me. I take my eyes away from him and look down. A tear that I didn't know was coming fell on top of my hand, followed by another._

"_Hermione? What's wrong?" I hear him say, but I just shake my head._

"_It's nothing…I…I'm just afraid that I will never see you again and that scares me."_

_Okay, well that wasn't exactly a lie, but that wasn't the whole truth either._

"_Hey, look at me." He takes his hand and places it under my chin to lift up my head so that I'm looking straight into his beautiful silver eyes that remind me of the full moon. Just like the one out tonight. And as I stare into his eyes, I do everything I can to stop myself from putting my lips to his. "I'm not going anywhere, you hear? I'll always be here for you and protect you, Hermione. No matter what, I promise."_

_I nod and he puts his arm around me and pulls me in closer. And even though we're as close as we can get to each other, I wish he could be so much closer, not just in my dreams either. I can smell his cologne and it spreads comfort through out me. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, where I enter the darkness once again._

_Yes, I'm afraid that I will never see him again, but what makes this situation even worse is the fact that I will only be able to see this Malfoy in my dreams. How pathetic is that? The one person that makes me feel this way, the one person who I want to be with, the one person who I wouldn't mind spending my life with, lives only in my dreams...and I'm afraid that's where he'll forever stay._

* * *

I don't know what's making me more depressed, the side effects of the potions I've been taking or the fact that I can't stop thinking about my dreams with Malfoy in them. I've been having the same dream every night, the one where we're together in the white gazebo in the beautiful garden. He meets me there every night and I couldn't ask for a better dream, but the more I dream about him, the more I wish it were real and the more I realize that it would never be real. That Malfoy would never appear in my life. I'd be lucky if he was even that close.

But even now every time I see the real Malfoy, I get this feeling in my stomach, like butterflies are going crazy in there. I get nervous and have to remind myself that this isn't the same Malfoy as the one in my dreams. I need to stop these dreams. I can't see him anymore. My dreams are playing tricks with my heart and if it doesn't end now, I'm going to be in big trouble. It also doesn't help that I see him so often.

If I'm not at the hospital, we're out together…and not in a dating way either. He's just there to look after me. Ha! As if I'm a child or something. Plus he still has not told me why he is doing this, even after he said he would on the first day. I'm pretty sure he's not doing this just because Ginny, of all people, told him to. There has to be another reason, one he's not willing to tell me and I want to know why.

"Miss Granger?" I look up at the new, and much nicer, receptionist. "Healer Carter will see you now. Just go right ahead." She finishes with a smile.

I thank her and get up to walk towards his office. I'm about to open the door when it automatically opens by itself. I'm surprised for a moment. The door usually never opens up by itself. Did Healer Carter charm it recently to do so? I'm still standing there staring at the doorknob, probably looking like an idiot, until I notice that someone from inside the office had opened it.

"Excuse me, Miss." He says and I know exactly who that voice belongs to. I look up to find none other than Malfoy with his smirk in place. Of course, who else?

I look away and step aside as he walks past me without another word, strolling confidently down the hall to his own office. I didn't give him a second glace and after I hear him close the door to his office, I shake my head to clear my thoughts of him and the butterflies that I didn't even know have appeared in my stomach have gone away.

"Miss Granger, please do come in." Healer Carter calls to me from his desk. My face grows pink, as I must've seemed strange standing in front of his door like a statue and making no movement to walk inside.

"Good afternoon, Healer Carter." I say as I take my usual seat in front of his desk.

No matter how many times I've been in his office I can never get rid of the nervous feeling I get sitting there in front of him. It's like I'm waiting to hear what my fate is…well that's exactly what it is, but still, it's something I don't plan to ever get use to.

"Afternoon, Miss Granger. How's your day been so far?" His kindness never really seems to make the situation any better.

"It's been a long day. I just got off a little while ago and am very tired."

All I want to do is go home and sleep. I haven't been feeling all that lively as of late especially on the days where I have to go to the orphanage. Don't get me wrong, I love it there and I love all the kids; I just wish I had more energy like I use to, but having this heart problem has really taken a toll on me.

"Oh, well then we'll hurry it up here so you can be on your way."

Healer Carter does his usual check up. It's always been the same thing every time I come here. The results have always been the same and unfortunately, it's nothing that's ever considered good news. I guess if you look at it from a different perspective it may seem like it's not really bad news either. At least I'm not getting worse, but then again I'm not getting any better.

Once the check up finishes, I expect to hear the same news that he always tells me, that there haven't been any changes and that I should keep taking the potions he gives me. Now that I think about it, what's the point of taking those potions if it doesn't even do anything? I'm wasting galleons on rubbish, if you ask me.

"Okay, Miss Granger, let's take a look at this." Healer Carter says once he takes a seat back down behind his desk. The same exact thing he says every time. I could probably predict what he's going to say next, that nothing has changed yet and that he'll look into it more to see what else can be done.

But then his face changes into a look I haven't seen before. His brows furrow and he stares at the parchment at hand a little longer than usual. My palms are beginning to sweat when he doesn't say anything for a long time, a little too long. My throat starts to dry up.

"Is…there something wrong?" I ask even though I already know that answer to that. Of course there's something wrong. There's _always_ something wrong. The real questions should be: What is it this time?

"This…is something I've never seen before…" He begins. I hold my breath as he continues. "The growths around your heart have disappeared."

"What?"

I'm completely shocked. Disappeared? No way, he's probably looking at it all wrong or a miracle has just happened. For weeks there has been no sign of reduction in size and all of a sudden they're just…gone?

"I'm as shocked as you are, Miss Granger." He tells me and I don't know whether I should be concerned about that or not.

"So, it's all good now, right? If they're all gone, then I must be all better."

That's definitely what it seems like, but for some reason, I know it's not all better. Nothing just disappears and then that's the end of it. No, this isn't a fairy tale. I'm not that lucky, but I could be wrong…

"Well, there's still a problem."

And my heart drops.

"Is…is it…serious?"

He lets out a deep sigh and that's all it takes, that one action triggers my eyes to water. Nothing good is going to come after that and I prepare myself for the worst. I have to…or else I'm going to fall apart.

"The growths that were previously surrounding the outer layer of your heart have disappeared…and reappeared on the inside of your heart."

My eyes go wide and that's when the tears fall freely, ones that I didn't even know where about to fall. I may not be a professional Healer or anything, but I'm pretty sure that having them inside my heart is a lot worse than them being outside. Not that they were any better on the outside. It's far worse than I have prepared for and bury my head in my hands. My tears are now uncontrollable, but even if they weren't I wouldn't do anything to stop them. I need this. I need to let it all out. It's the only thing I can do at this point.

I don't understand why this is happening to me. My life was perfectly normal and then I'm thrown into this…this horrible situation. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. This isn't how my life is supposed to be. I know no one can predict nor can they choose what and how their future will be like, especially when something like this happens. It's just…I don't think I can handle this. It's one terrible thing right after the next.

The door opens and closes. Several of minutes later, it opens and closes again. I lift my head up to find tissues and a glass of water in front of my face. I take both and set the glass on the table before blowing my nose. I probably look like an absolute mess right now, but that's the last thing I should be worrying about.

"I know this is too much for you to handle right now, but let me assure you that we'll be doing all that we can to find a solution for this."

If I had a galleon for every time I heard that…

"May I go home now?" I ask in a whisper.

"Don't you want to talk about this first?"

I shake my head, "I just want to go home."

He doesn't say anything for a while and I start to think that he'll say no when he speaks again. "Very well, then. I will owl you all the details you should know about this and we will talk again another time."

Without another word and without another look at him, I get up and leave. I know it was rude of me to just go like that, but I'm devastated. I'm sure Healer Carter will forgive me just this once.

* * *

I step outside of St. Mungo's and it's already dark out. The cold autumn air surrounds me. I start to shiver and wrap my arms around myself to keep warm. Curse myself for forgetting to bring my cloak. The coldness captures me and it's so cold that I feel like needles are prickling my skin. I walk down the street and suddenly I'm too cold to even walk any further, so I sit down at the nearest step and put my head down on my knees. A small tear falls from my face and slides down onto my knee followed by another and another. I then realize that all this time my tears have never stopped falling and even now as I sit alone, they have no intention of stopping anytime soon.

I let out a laugh when I think about how pathetic I must look. Sitting all alone, shivering from the cold. When has my life turned into this?

I turn my head and lay my cheek on top of my knees. As I watch all the people walking down the streets, smiles on their faces, laughter filling up the air around them, I find myself feeling so alone. All I want is for someone to be here with me, to comfort me. That's all I'm asking for. But no one will come for me. Why would they? They don't know that this is even happening to me. It's my entire fault anyways.

I let out a deep sigh and with my tears still free falling I close my eyes. I'm in the darkness once again…and that's where I begin my search, my search for the only one person on my mind that can make me feel better, the only person who knows. He'll help me get through this. I know he will.

The cold is becoming unbearable and I begin to tremble violently. I feel as if I were to sit here any longer then I would surely die from the freezing cold. I'm almost to the point where I can't handle it anymore, when I feel a large and heavy coat drape over me. My head whips up as my eyes flashes open. And there he is. He's standing in front of me. The one I've been looking for, hoping for…but before I could allow myself to smile, I'm reminded that he's not that same person.

"You'll get sick if you sit out here any longer without a coat." He says to me and offers himself a seat to my right.

"Too late for that…" I mumble silently, but I'm sure he heard it. "Thanks." I add, as I wrap his coat tighter around me and that's when my eyes become wide.

His cologne.

The same one the Malfoy from my dream was wearing, the same one that gave me comfort when I needed it, and I don't know if I should be surprised or not, but that's exactly what it's doing now.

"What are you doing setting out here in the cold all by yourself?" He asks.

Did I hear wrong? Or was there actually a hint of concern in his tone? Maybe the cold has caused me to go delusional.

"I like to feel sorry for myself and sitting alone in the cold adds to it. What's it to you?" I say, a little harsher than I had intended it to sound. I guess that made him a little angry because the next thing I know, he's standing up and looking down at me with a frown.

"You know what, Granger, I came out here to keep you company because you look like a complete wreck. I honestly wanted to help you, but if you're just going to be a bitch about it than I have no problem leaving you here."

I'm blown away by his words. He wants to help me? Help me how? And…had he been watching me this whole time? I'm about to ask him that very question when I decide that now isn't the right time to tick him off even more. Him keeping me company isn't so bad. Besides, I want to keep his coat.

"I'm sorry." I sigh and rub my eyes, so frustrated. "I'm having a horrible day and I shouldn't take it out on you. It's not like you had anything to do with it anyways."

He sighs and runs his hands through his blonde hair. I look down at my hands, too afraid to look him in the eye.

"Let's go." He says after a while.

I look up at him with questioning eyes.

"Go? Go where?" I ask.

"I'm taking you somewhere." He tells me and before I can protest or say anything further he grabs me by the hand and suddenly I'm being drawn into a tight whirlwind.

When we finally land, my legs give in and I fall to the floor. After I recover from the dizziness, I notice that now I'm sitting on grass. As I lift my head higher I see that the place I'm currently in is surrounded by a stonewall. I slowly stand up and, when I notice that Malfoy is no longer beside me, I turn around to look for him.

That's when I see it. My eyes become wide and I bring my hands to my mouth as a gasp escapes through my lips. Standing in front of me is Malfoy, but that's not what made me react the way I did. No, it was _where_ he was standing that makes me want to cry.

Malfoy is standing inside a white gazebo that is covered in hundreds of tiny little lights and gorgeous flowers twisting around the top of it. The image in front of me is so much like my dream that I honestly don't know whether I'm dreaming or not. I close my eyes and a single tear slides down my cheek as I think about how perfect it would be if I could see him again. I open my eyes, again, to see Malfoy now standing in front of me. He bring up his hand and lightly wipes away the single tear that had made its spot on my chin. That one motion almost made my knees go weak.

"Come." He says softly. He takes my hand and leads me to the gazebo. The same bench from my dream is in its exact spot where I expected it to be. He takes a seat bringing me down with him.

"Where are we? Why'd you bring me here?" I ask him.

He's hesitant for a while, not speaking to me and just looking around. Then, out of nowhere, he looks back to me with eyes so soft that I could stare into them for hours. Those eyes…so familiar…

"This place is very special to me." He begins, "I come here every time I'm feeling upset or if I just need time to myself to think. It's pretty relaxing and the silence can sometimes be calming. I though that maybe, since you seem to be going through something rough, that you'd like it here." He says, sincerely.

You don't even know…

"It's perfect." I say, barely above a whisper, as I look around at my fairytale scene that I thought I would never be able to see again. The stars are shining so brightly that I believe the hundreds of tiny lights already surrounding us are unnecessary. But even if they were, I wouldn't rid them. Their presence here is just as important as the stars.

"There's something I must tell you." Malfoy says after a long, but very peaceful silence.

After I take in everything around us, I return my attention to him. "What is it?"

"I know I've been avoiding this topic every time you bring it up, but I was just waiting for the right moment to tell you." He begins. "It's difficult for me to explain."

"What topic?" I ask, honestly not knowing what he is talking about.

"The topic of why I care so much about what you're going through. Why I want to know so badly. The topic of why I've been following you. Why I've chosen to do it on my own free will and not because your friend told me to."

"Oh." I look down at my hands that have started to fidget. "Well, yes I would like to know why." I say without looking at him.

"I hope this doesn't sound too creepy or anything because I really can't help what I see, but," He pauses and I'm holding my breath. "But, I've been getting these…dreams."

"Dreams?" No, it can't be…

"Yes, dreams." He confirms, but then stops for a bit and looks out into the darkness.

"Please, continue." I say, "What…happens in these dreams?"

He takes a deep breath before starting again.

"Well, you're in them…and this is the strange part; every time I see you, I feel the need to protect you. The way you are in my dreams, you look so fragile; like you would fall apart any second if I'm not there to hold you. I promised the Hermione in my dreams that I would always be there for her and to protect her." He looks at me then. "And whenever I see that Hermione, I feel as if I want to be with her forever. I can't stop thinking about her. The thing is, these dreams…they seem so real that I feel the need to protect Hermione, whether it's the Hermione in my dreams or not."

I look away at this point so that he can't tell that I started crying again.

"Do you want to know why I left so suddenly that day at the orphanage?" He asks me.

With my head still turned away, I reply, "Yes."

"When Sarah asked me if I thought you were beautiful, I wanted to say yes. I was about to say yes, but then you kind of...intervened. It was then when my thoughts brought me back to those dreams. My feelings were becoming too overwhelming, especially when you're right there in front of me, and well, I had to get out of there before it became any worse."

I drop my head and close my eyes.

So, I'm not the only that's been plagued by these dreams. He sees them, too. The same exact dreams that I've been having, he's been having them too. This gazebo, this garden, is the same exact place in my dreams. It's real. And most of all, he feels exactly what the Malfoy in my dreams feels. I don't even know what to think anymore. Were my dreams trying to tell me something? I never believed that dreams cold come true until now.

And what about Malfoy? He claims to be the one from my dreams. He has certainly proved to be the one from my dreams, but I don't think I'm ready to let him know that I'm been getting them too. It's just…too soon and I'm not sure where this is going to take us. Honestly, I'm a little afraid.

"Hermione…" His soft voice that spoke my name gives me chills. I look over to him, not really caring anymore if he sees my tears. "I know I'm having these dreams and feelings for a reason. Please, tell me what's happening to you."

I wipe away the tears from my face, but doing that is pretty much pointless because as soon as I wipe them away, new ones are taking their place. I shake my head slowly, just as a reaction, not really denying Malfoy of his request.

"Please." He continues, and he takes my hand in his. "Tell me."

My bottom lip quivers, as I look him in the eyes. His eyes are so cold and piercing, but somehow they are giving me comfort. I open my mouth to speak, but no sound seems to be coming out, so I shut them again.

"Hermione?" He looks at me with pleading eyes and then after a moment of nothing, he sighs. "It's okay, you're not ready to tell me yet. I understand."

He looks away and I can tell he's disappointed. My attention is brought to our hands. His is still holding on to mine, giving my freezing ones the warmth that his contain. I take mine away from his for just a moment. I cup his cheek with my free hand and gently turn his face over so that he's facing me again.

"Draco," I whisper, as a small sob escapes me. "I'm dying."

**---  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8  
________________________________ **

_Your colors show brighter than the men I used to know.  
I was driving all the night just so I can feel you by my side._

- Like I Do (Minipop)  
**_________________________________**

**---**

After the night that Draco brought me to his gazebo, I've stopped having those dreams. I had a feeling that it would happen, but it was quite saddening when the realization hit me, I wouldn't be seeing him again. He was the first one to comfort me, the one who was there when I needed it most. He knew what to do and what to say. It was strange that the only thing he had to do was appear and it that was all it took to make me feel whole again. And now, he'll only be in my memory.

I know I probably sound pretty ridiculous right now, since that Draco and the real Draco is the same person. It was him all along. He was the one in my dreams, but it just hasn't really sunk in yet. And whenever I'm around him, I feel awkward. I know there's something between us, we shared a connection through our dreams, but it doesn't seem right. I think it's due largely from when it was just the other Draco and I in my dreams, it felt like a personal and private moment. I didn't really think that the real Draco would be feeling this too. But now that I know it was actually him in my dreams, it seems stranger. But if there's one good thing that came out of this is that there's only, absolutely one Draco Malfoy. Having two is just too confusing, especially since they act like polar opposite. Well, they used to.

I let out a sigh of frustration and throw all that thought out of my mind. I don't want to be thinking about this right now so early in the morning. I finish up my breakfast and am about to clean up when there's a rattling sound coming from the living room window. It's an owl I've seen before and I know exactly where it came from. Opening the window and giving it a small treat, I retrieve the letter and set it off again.

_Dear Miss Granger,_

_I am truly sorry for the absolutely unfortunate news that I had given you a few days ago. I know that it has caused you great distress and I'm sure that all that I can say will not help the situation get any better. _

_I want to assure you that currently I, along with a few other Healers I've asked the assistance of, am putting forth a research to figure out what can be done for you. It will take quite a while since this is something new to us, but we are using the best of our abilities to rid you of this disease. _

Quite a while? That doesn't sound very reassuring, not knowing how long I have to wait.

_I do have some requests for you during this time to prevent this from getting any worse. The first thing is that I must ask you to take these new potions that I have concocted for you. They well help with any attacks that may occur. Second, I need you to limit the food that you eat. I'm not saying that you should eat less, but the type of food that you consume on a daily basis should be healthy. It is all right to spoil yourself now and then, but no over indulging. _

That wouldn't be so hard. It's not like I pig out every night. Now if I were like Ron, then we'd have a problem.

_The last thing I need you to do, and I know this could quite possibly be the hardest one, but I need you to limit your everyday activities, especially the ones that require a lot of movement and that can cause you to tire quickly. Which means, no more working at the orphanage. I know this is going to be very difficult for you since you've shown how much you really love working there, but I don't think it would be good to test your limits with this. I recall from the last time we met that you came into my office quite tired. I can't have you experiencing that everyday when I don't know what's going on with your heart. _

_That is all I have for now. I will be sending the potions I have for you shortly. Again, I am truly sorry about this. I will be contacting you soon with any news that I may have. Take care, Miss Granger and please, do follow my requests. I'm only asking for this for the safety of your health._

_- Healer Carter._

My jaw drops to the floor. No, there's no way I'm going to quit. I love it there too much and the kids. I would miss their smiling faces too much. And Sarah…I told her I would never leave her. I vowed that I would never make her cry again, but if I tell her that I won't be working there anymore…

I can't even think about what she would say. She'd be heart broken. She'd hate me. She'll never want to talk to me again. I'm breaking my promise to a little girl. I just can't even imagine what I would say to her. Thinking about it is causing my eye to water. Shit. I've been crying so much as of late that I can't believe I still have some left in me.

"Hermione!" I hear Ginny call me from the bedroom.

"In the living room."

I wipe away my tears quick before Ginny sees them and I hide my letter in my coat. Since Ginny started staying with me it hasn't been quite as bad as I thought it would be. I though Ginny would be constantly nagging at me about different things and what not. Don't get me wrong, I love Ginny, but sometimes I just like to keep to myself. No, but she has been great company and I truly am thankful for having such a caring friend.

"Hey Hermione, you're up early today." Ginny says and enters the kitchen to make herself some breakfast. I follow her in and take a seat at the counter.

"Couldn't really sleep." I say truthfully.

"Why's that?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about, Gin."

"I don't believe you, but I'll let it slide for now." She tells me and begins to make her morning routine of eggs, bacon, fruit, and toast with a glass of pumpkin juice. She may not be exactly like her older brother and she certainly doesn't look like a girl that does, but ever since Ginny moved in to stay with me for a while I've noticed that she eats quite a lot.

"You're going to let it slide? I'm shocked." I say, honestly. It's not like Ginny to "let it slide". She glares at me, but just for a slight moment before turning it into a grin. I know that face. Ginny always puts on that face when she knows something that no one else does. Something's up and I'm going to find out exactly what it is.

"What's going on, Ginny?"

She stops everything that she's doing, leaving a mess on the kitchen counter, and plops down on the chair next to me.

"Harry asked me to move in with him!" She exclaims happily with a huge grin on her face, just like a little girl who got what she wanted for Christmas.

"Really? That's great, Ginny! I'm so happy for you! I really am." I say, truthfully.

I've watched Harry and Ginny grow so close over the years. I know that Ginny has been waiting forever for her and Harry to take the next step in their relationship. She's told me countless times how she's tired of being engaged and just wants to be a wife already, his wife. And although the next step that she's been thinking about is finally having their wedding, I'm sure that moving in together is the next best thing. I couldn't be happier for them.

"Thank you, Hermione." She says and grabs me for a hug.

"When are you moving into his place?"

"Soon, most likely next week. We're having a house warming party that same night. I'm hoping you can come?"

"House warming? Isn't that only when you buy a new house? You're just moving in with Harry."

"Yes, well I'm redecorating and everything. Besides, it's new for me. So, I'm having a house warming party."

I laugh and shake my head. That Ginny, always looking for a reason to have a party.

"So, you'll come?" She asks, again.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'll be there! What kind of best friend would I be if I weren't?" I laugh causing Ginny to follow.

"Not a very good one, I suppose."

"Right."

She lets out another laugh and returns her attention back to her uncooked breakfast. "So," she says as she's placing the eggs onto the pan. "Why were you up so early? You couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah, um, I've been thinking…about something." My mood suddenly drops.

Ginny puts down the plate she had been holding and looks at me. "Thinking about what, Hermione?"

"Now, Ginny, it's nothing big so please don't get overdramatize it."

She walks over to the cupboard and pulls out a glass and fills it with pumpkin juice. "Just spit it out."

"I, um…I actually…have decided to…" I pause briefly, not really sure how I would say this.

"Yes…go on." Ginny says with her back turned to me.

"I've actually decided to stop working at the orphanage for a while." I say quickly so that maybe, just maybe, Ginny wouldn't have caught that.

But as soon as the words come out of my mouth, Ginny drops her glass and it shatters all over the kitchen floor. I jump at the sound. With glass and juice all over the floor, Ginny turns around and walks over to me. Her seriousness is starting to scare me and I'm ready to turn away when she breaks into a laugh.

"Good one. Very funny, Hermione." The look on her face tells me that she really does believe it's a joke. "You're not going to quit your job. You love it there! You told me you could work there for the rest of your life."

I watch as Ginny cleans up the spilt juice and shattered glass with just a flick of her wand. She grabs another one from the cupboard and I wait until she sets it down on the counter before I go ahead and tell her again.

"No, Ginny. I'm being serious. I'm going to stop working. As a matter of fact, I'll be letting them know tomorrow."

Her serious face returns, but this time there is no laugh after it.

"But why? It's so sudden. Have you thought this through?"

_No, I haven't gotten the chance to think it through. I was just told this morning, in fact it was just a few minutes ago, that I have no choice, but to leave my job at the orphanage._ That's the thought that's going through my mind, but I can't say that.

"I have…and it's a really difficult decision, but I think it's the right decision." Is what I say instead.

It is the right decision and I not only have to convince Ginny of that, but myself too. I one hundred percent don't agree with this decision, but if it'll help during my current situation then I'm not going to risk anything. I'd much rather be safe than sorry, even if I have to give up something that I love.

"Well, what are you going to do if you're not working anymore?"

"I think I'm just going to lay low for now. All this time I've never really gotten a chance to just relax. And I know that working at the orphanage isn't some huge task that requires a lot out of a person, but I just want to be able to feel like I have no responsibilities for a while."

I hope that convinces Ginny for now because I honestly don't know what else to say. That's all I can come up with on the spot. I'm lacking in my responses today. She seems convinced enough cause she turns to grab some bread.

"If you honestly feel like you need to do this then I'm not going to say anything. I'm just not really understanding it, right now."

"I know…"

Of course you don't understand, Ginny. You have no idea what is going on. No fucking idea. And I know that it's my fault. I'm sorry that I can't tell you. I just don't want you to have to worry about me all the time and feel like you have to take care of me. Harry and Ron, too. Maybe I will have to tell you one of these days if things don't get any better and I have not choice but to tell you. I'm hoping that for now, I'll be able to recover from this. I'll tell you how I overcame a great obstacle, how I survived. But for now, it'll have to remain my little secret.

* * *

Autumn is absolutely my favorite season of the year. The weather before it begins to snow is perfect. I love sitting outside and feeling the crisp, cool wind blow past me. It's so refreshing. And that's exactly what I've been doing for the past few weeks. I come to the same exact café every afternoon. I always ask to be sat outside in the front courtyard, so much so that the waiters there all know exactly which table I like to sit at and what I always order.

I'm usually here by myself, but recently Draco has been keeping me company. After our little confessions to each other (him about his dreams and me about my heart) we've been seeing a lot of each other as of late, more than ever. I'm more comfortable having him around me now. I feel that, since he already knows about my secret, I can be myself around him. I don't have to lie about anything.

When I think about it, I can't help wanting to laugh at the whole situation. I find it funny how we went from not being able to stand each other to really good friends. All of this happened so suddenly. I think we give each other good company. Well, that's how I feel about him and I hope he feels the same. But that's all it is. Good company.

"Would you like more tea, Miss Granger?" The waiter, who looks about eighteen, asks as he passes by on his way back inside the cafe.

"Yes, please." I smile.

He nods his head and leaves. Moments later he returns with my tea. From the corner of my eye I spot something blonde behind him. I look over the waiter's shoulder to find Draco coming down the isle. I smile, something that comes naturally every time I see him, and I receive one from him in return.

"Hey." He pulls out the chair and sits across from me, our usually arrangement, with a different waiter bringing Draco's coffee not even seconds later, knowing exactly what he likes, along with a platter of fruits and pastries.

"Hello." I say to Draco and thank the waiter.

"How was your morning?" He asks politely.

"It was...eventful." I say, not sure if that was the right word to use.

"Oh, how so?"

"I'll show you later. How was your morning?"

"It was...uneventful." He says, somewhat mimicking me.

I raise my eyes at his choice of words and he chuckles causing me to laugh along with him.

"That's nice, I guess." I say, and shake my head before returning my attention to the notepad I have on the table beside my hand.

"What's that?" He asks me before taking a sip of his coffee.

I take a grape from the platter of in the middle of the table and pop it in my mouth before responding. "I'm making a list."

"A list for what?" He asks, still holding the cup inches away from his mouth, looking down at my notepad.

I take out the letter from Healer Carter and toss it over to him so that he can read it himself. Moments later, I watch as Draco's eyes get wide with shock. I would've laughed out loud at the sight if the situation at hand weren't one that I hated and probably would've reacted the same way if I were the one in his position.

"You're going to listen to him?" He asks, and this time I really laugh out loud.

"Of course. What? Do you think I shouldn't?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"No, no. I just…it doesn't seem like you to not be doing _something_."

"And that is why I'm making this list."

"You're making a list of stuff that you want to do while you're not working?"

"That's correct." I give a short nod and continue to scribble something down on the paper.

"How much have you written down so far?"

"I'm actually done with the list. I've written down five things."

"Five things?! Granger, you've got long way ahead of you and you've only wrote down five things?"

I glare at him as he laughs.

"These are meaningful things that I'm putting a lot of thought into. I'm not going to do all this in one day. It's not like I'm writing a day-to-day schedule for myself." I tell him, and pause to add something on my notepad. "Besides, five is all I need."

"What kind of list is this? Let me see." He extends an open hand out at me over the table.

"I don't want to show you. You'll just laugh at it." I tell him and slap his arm away.

"Why write it down? Why not just do it?"

"I told you. These are meaningful things that I can't just do if I want to. It takes time. And…"

"And what?"

He looks at me with raised eyes and I don't know if I should tell him. This list is so personal. Everything that I've written on this little notepad is from my heart. These five things that I've written down are so important to me. It's more than a list. It's…it's the rest of my life.

"And well, it's a list that I'm making for myself with all the stuff I want to do, like goals that I would like to accomplish, before I…you know…die," I whisper the last part so that no one near by could hear. He stares at me with a strange expression on his face, like he doesn't understand what I'm saying, so I explain it to him. "Because you and I both know that I don't have much time before that."

"Hermione, I don't want you talking like that. You're not going to die. Not anytime soon, at least." He says to with such a serious tone that it frightens me a little and I get the urge to defend myself.

"How do you know, Draco? Can you seriously sit here and promise me that I have a one hundred percent chance of getting over this, that I'll survive? I don't even know what 's wrong with me! Healer Carter doesn't even know what's wrong with me!" I stop to take a breath and am surprised by my own harsh tone. "How can something be fixed, if no one knows or can find the solution to fix it?" My voice is much quieter and there's a slight quiver when I speak my last statement.

"Hermione." He says my name again, this time in a much softer voice. I look away from him, afraid that if I'm facing him that my tears will come again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. Please, don't be angry with me."

I let out a sigh and once I know that there won't be any tears coming, I turn back to look at him. He wore a look of concern on his face and hints of plead in his eyes. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at that. It's funny to know that I have that sort of effect on him. He smiles back at me and we both know that what just happened is done, over.

"Will you tell me what the five things are that you've written down?"

"Promise me you won't laugh."

"I promise." He says with his hand raised high as if he's taking an oath. I let out a laugh and shake my head at him.

"All right," I take a sip of my tea before I read from the bottom up. "Well, let's start from the bottom shall we? Number five: Stay up till dawn and watch the sunrise, and also catch a few shooting stars during nightfall."

"That sounds a bit boring, don't you think?" He says casually, taking a bite of his scone.

"No, I don't think it's boring that's why it's on my list." I respond with a glare. "I think it would be quite romantic."

"Not if you're by yourself. Then that would be quite boring."

"I wouldn't be by myself because I would ask someone to come with me." I say through gritted teeth, clearly irritated by him, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"I can't imagine who would ever want to do that. Waste of time if you ask me." He takes another bite of his scone, with not a care in the world.

"Well, then I'll go by myself!" I snap and in return he smiles at me. He's got some nerve…

"Number four?"

I'm still glaring at him, but decide to let it go, just this once. No guarantee that I won't kick him the next time he has a smart arse remark.

"Number four," Repeating him, "I want to get over my fear of flying."

I feel my cheeks grow pink and I look down at my teacup, slightly embarrassed to see what Draco's reaction to that would be.

"Hm…interesting." I hear him say, "Okay, what's number three?"

I bring my head up to look at him with a frown. What? That's it? No laughing? No comment on how Hermione Granger's worst fear is flying on a broom? He looks at me with raised eyes, waiting for me to say what's next on my list, when I don't speak for a while. Guess not. I clear my throat and straighten out a bit in my chair before starting again.

"Number three…I would love to live near the water, buy a nice little house by the ocean, maybe."

"You like the ocean?"

"Yes, well, I like to sit by the water and look out into the horizon. I've actually only been near an ocean once or twice before, but I love hearing the waves splash and the feeling as a breeze pass by while you look out into the sea. Oh, and when in the evening when the sun is shining down on the water making it look like thousands of diamonds are floating on the water. It's quite beautiful, also very peaceful and relaxing. I wouldn't mind spending most of my time there."

I'm looking out into the distance as I tell him this, not noticing that I've started to ramble. I look back to Draco to find him watching me. Smiling, I pick up my teacup and take another sip.

"I've wanted to do this for a while now and thought I might as well add it to my list." I finish and set my teacup down.

"Best one on the list so far, Granger." Draco says with a grin on his face.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "I didn't know you like the ocean, too."

He just shrugs and finishes up the rest of his scone. "Next."

I'm hesitant about this one. This one seems the most personal out of all five things on my list and yet it's just number two. It could possibly move to the first spot, but I guess it's something that is not as important if I don't get it. Draco will most definitely laugh at this one if not the others. But I truly hope he doesn't. I'm getting nervous just _thinking _about saying it out loud.

"Hermione?" He calls to me.

I snap out of my thoughts and look over at him. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"No, it's all right. I was just afraid something was happening again."

"No, no. I'm fine." I assure him.

"You don't have to go on if you don't want to. If you feel that it's too personal and you would like to keep it to yourself, I can respect that."

I smile at his kindness. This is the Draco that I love to see, the one that's caring and thoughtful. "I want to continue. I've already told you half of it. I might as well finish it off."

"Are you sure?" He asks me and I give him a nod. "Okay, what's number two?"

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out before responding. "Number two. I…I want to fall in love."

I'm looking down at my notepad at this point, but I take a quick glance at Draco across from me, wondering what he thought about that. I'm not sure why his reaction to my list is making me feel this way, this nervousness. It's not like he has the control over it and it's not like he's taking any part in any of this, but for some reason, deep down, I kind of feel like I wish he would. I quickly brush that thought away.

"That's reasonable." Is his casual response and my mood suddenly drops a little, but I don't show it. "If that's number two then what's number one on your list?"

"I want to be a mother." I say confidently.

"Really?"

The surprise in his tone worries me.

"Why? Do you think I'll make a horrible mum?" I ask, looking at him with eyes narrowed.

"No, it's not that. I just thought that number one would maybe be that you'd want to get married."

"Oh," I honestly didn't even think about that. "I guess that could come in between the second and first one. It's just…I just think that marriage isn't _that_ important Like…" I pause for a moment to think about it. "It's like this, you can fall in love with someone and never get married, but you could still be with that person. And you don't have to be married to be a mother to a child or maybe even more."

"So, you don't want to get married?"

"It's not that. Of course, I do. I'm sure every girl wishes someday they would get a chance to have their perfect wedding day, that's me included. I just think that it's…not one of the necessary things that someone _has_ to do in their lifetime. It would be great to marry the one you love, have a gorgeous wedding, and all that, yes, but it's not the end of the world if it's something I don't get a chance to do." I sigh and let out a laugh. "I'm sorry, that probably didn't even make any sense."

"No, it makes perfect sense." He tells me.

"Good." I say with a grin, getting one in return from him.

"So you want to be a mum, huh?"

"Yes, I really do. I think maybe it's because I've worked at the orphanage for so long. Seeing all the children's faces, watching them play and grow. They make me really happy. And I think that having a child is the greatest gift a person can have, whether it be a man or woman. Here's this little child who looks up to you, who'll make you laugh when you need it, who'll love you no matter what. Because you are their parent they will adore you no matter what."

"You've really thought this things through, haven't you?" Draco chuckles.

"I guess I have." I laugh at the realization. "I tend to think a lot and very deep when it comes to this type of thing. Kind of like a preparation of some sort. I'm boring you, aren't I?"

"Not at all. You're actually quite interesting to listen to. Though if I weren't the nice guy that I am, I would've left half an hour ago, not getting a chance to know that.

I gasp at his remark. "You're free to leave, if you want. Don't let me be the reason of you being bored to death."

I know he's just trying to be funny, but two can play at that game.

"Relax, I was just joking." He says to me. "What I really want to say is tha-

"Well, I wasn't. So you can leave now." I cut him off with a straight face. It's so hard to keep it though, when I want to laugh.

"No, I'm not going anywhere." He states.

"Fine, I'll leave." I say, getting ready to stand up when he grabs my arm.

"Hermione. Don't go."

His face is so serious and has so much sincerity that I had to laugh at that point.

"You thought you were the only who can joke around, Draco? Did you see the look on you're face? _Don't go, Hermione. Don't go_" I say, mocking him and laughing at the same time. I'm laughing so hard that my sides hurt and there are tears in my eyes.

"Are you done?" He asks, glaring at me the entire time. I laugh for a few more seconds and sigh, wiping away the tears from laughing.

"I'm done." I tell him, but then I start laughing again. Draco groans and rolls his eyes, but that makes me laugh even more. I hear him tapping his fingers on the table, waiting for my laughter to subside. I take another deep breath and stop. "Okay, seriously, I'm done now."

"Can we go back to being serious now?"

"Of course." But I leave a grin on my face.

"What I was about to say, before I was so rudely interrupted," He drags and I roll my eyes as I pop another grape in my mouth. "I wanted to tell you that I think you'll be a wonderful mother."

I look at him then and I can see that what he said is genuine.

"Thank you, Draco."

He gives a short nod. We sit in silence for a while, just enjoying the fresh air and the light sounds from the busy streets.

"You've got a good list there, Granger." Draco says, suddenly.

"You don't have to lie." I laugh, not looking at him. "You hated the first three."

"Well, that's not fair. I never said I hated them."

"You certainly don't like them."

"Hey, but that's not the point. It doesn't matter what I think nor does it matter what anyone else thinks. The point is that it's what _you_ want and that's all that matters."

"Thanks." I say, looking down at my hands to hide the blush that is gradually appearing on my face.

"You keep thanking me when I should be the one thanking you." I hear him say.

"Oh? And why's that?"

He chuckles before saying, "You shared with me your life goals that are obviously very near and dear to your heart. You trust me with having this knowledge." He leans in a little closer, making it more intimate between us. "It means a lot to me that you trust me, Hermione. So, thank you."

I look at him then. We have a moment of connection as we stare into each other's eyes. One of the things that I love about having Draco keep me company, and yes there's more than one reason, but one of them is that we have this thing where we can just look at each other and we get this connection. We don't have to say a single word to one another, but we get what the other is feeling and we understand what the other is thinking. We just…know. It's quite strange, actually. Something I've never experienced before with anyone else.

And quite honestly, I don't think there's anyone else I'd rather have this connection with.

**---**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9  
___________________________**

"_I am finding out that maybe I was wrong,  
that I've fallen down and I can't do this alone.  
Stay with me. This is what I need, please."_

-My Heart (Paramore)  
**__________________________ **

**---**

"Are you ready, Hermione?"

"No." I confess and let out a sigh.

Well, today is the day. The day that I thought would never come, the day that I have to quit my job at the orphanage. I hope that this is only going to be temporary, but given the current circumstances I'm not really sure that it will. So, here I am. Standing in front of the orphanage building, just waiting. Draco was kind enough to take the day off and be here with me. I told him that I would be fine coming here alone, even though that was a lie, but he insisted on coming. It feels really good to know that he cares.

"It's okay, we'll go in when you're ready." He tells me.

"Thank you."

I look down at my shuffling feet and try to mentally prepare myself for what is about to happen in there. I've already owled the ones in charge of the orphanage, explaining that I would have to take an indefinite leave due to an unfortunate illness, but of course without the details of my heart condition and also making sure that they don't let anyone know about the information I told them. I received an owl a few hours later with their support and understanding. So that's not what I'm worried about.

That's not even the worst part. The worst part is letting all the little children that I've spent so much time with that I won't be seeing them anymore. It kills me inside to even think about doing such thing, but what's even worse is having to explain it to little Sarah. I know she'll be devastated causing me to feel horrible, more so than I do now.

Thinking about it is making my eyes water and I tilt my head up so that they can't escape. I feel Draco's hand wrap around mine and giving it a light squeeze for comfort. I'm really grateful to have him with me. He's been such a great support for me that I can't imagine what I would do if he wasn't around.

I let out another sigh and turn my head to look at him. Well, it's now or never. I might as well get it over with sooner so I can go home and not have to think about this anymore.

"I'm ready now." I tell Draco.

"Are you sure?" He asks, looking me straight in the eye.

I nod my head. "Yes, I have to do it now before I stand here for another hour."

He gives my hand another squeeze before we both walk inside together, his hand never letting go of mine.

As we walk closer and closer to my department, my heart starts to pound harder and harder. I'm not sure if that's going to affect it later on, but right now it's something that I have no control over. We stop at the door that leads into my usual room. I close my eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and walking in.

The room is loud as usual during this time. It's right after they nap and have just finished lunch, so they are quite energetic. I must say I picked a terrible time to do this. The first person to spot me is Luna who at the time was cleaning up the bed sheets near the door. When she saw me and Draco together a look of confusion was struck on her face, but just seconds later it was gone as if it had never even been there in the first place.

"Hermione!" She greets me, not saying a word to Draco. "I'm surprised you're here. I heard from the administrators that you were taking an indefinite leave from work? They already brought in a new caretaker today."

I look over to see a new face. She is a lot younger than the rest of us who work here. She has red hair and is very tiny. From the looks of things, the kids really seem to enjoy her. They haven't even noticed me yet! Maybe it's a good thing that she's here. Maybe they look her so much that they wouldn't even care that I'm leaving.

"Yes, Luna, unfortunately I am. It was a very difficult decision, but I think it's the right thing for me to do right now."

My wording is very vague. If it was anyone else, I'm sure they'd have no idea what or why I think it's the right decision to leave your job all of the sudden, but with Luna, I know that some how in that weird little mind of hers, she gets it.

"I guess the reason you came is because you wanted to say goodbye to the kids?" She asks me, although I'm pretty sure that the answer is clear.

I nod my head anyway. "Yes, I would like to do that now if I could?"

"Of course. I'll just let Lydia know."

Luna walks over to the new caretaker and whispers something into her ear. I see them look over to me causing the kids to look over too. Once they all spot me that's when my tears start to over power me and I no longer have control over them. The look on their faces when they see me is more than I could ever ask for. To know that I have such an effect on a group of small children makes my heart beam.

They all run up to me as they have everyday in the past whenever I come into the room. No matter how many times they do this, I never get tired of it and I never want it to stop. But the reality is, after today, I may never get to have this ever again. I'm smiling at them, but also tears are flowing down my face like a stream at the same time. I'm sure I look very strange right now.

"Hi Miss Hermione!"

"Miss Hermione, Miss Luna said you weren't coming today."

"Miss Hermione, you brought your friend again!"

"Can you come play with me, Miss Hermione?"

I let out a laugh as all the children are talking at once. It never gets old for me to hear tons of different things thrown to me all at once. Any other person in their right mind would probably get annoyed, but I'm really going to miss it.

"Hi little ones." I say, as I crouch down to their level.

"Miss Hermione, why are you crying? Are you sad?" One of the older ones standing closest to me asks. He brings his tiny hand over to wipe away a tear, but that just made them come even more.

"Yes, I'm really sad today." I tell him, placing my hand on his small cheek.

"Why?" He tilts his head to the side, face so innocent.

"Well, I have a very important announcement to make and I want you all to listen carefully, okay?"

A sea of little heads start nodding causing me to smile.

I take a deep breath before starting. "I have some very important, adult things to deal with at the moment and…I'm really sad to say that I will no longer be coming here."

There's a slight silence as the children take in what I just said. By the look on their faces, it seems they don't fully understand or maybe they don't believe it.

"You're leaving us?" One of the girls asks, after a moment of realization. Suddenly, it seems they all get it and all at once their faces turn from cheerful to sorrow.

"No, don't leave us!"

"We'll promise to behave more!"

"We love you, Miss Hermione, please don't go!

"You have to stay with us!"

"Do you not love us anymore? Is that why you're leaving?"

I couldn't bare it any longer as their little cries overwhelm me. Nothing I could've done would've prepared me for this. I don't even know what to say or how to explain it to them. At this age, it's so hard for them to understand and go a long with something.

I hear someone walk over and crouch down next to me.

"Now children, Miss Hermione loves you all very much and has told me this more times than I can count. But something very serious has come up and unfortunately Miss Hermione cannot manage having to deal with this serious problem while she's here. If she did then it would cause her more stress and discomfort. Now, I know you don't want that to happen to Miss Hermione, do you?"

All the children shake their heads 'no' at once.

"And don't worry about Miss Hermione. I'm sure she'll be visiting you all when she gets the chance. Right, Miss Hermione?"

I look over to Draco, stunned that he came up with all that. Not just what he said, but the way he said it. He spoke to the kids in a tone that I've never heard from him before. It wasn't too harsh, but it wasn't too light either. He was so calm and collected, a total switch from the first time he stepped foot in here.

Not able to say anything, I just nod my head.

"All right, Miss Hermione and Mr. Malfoy are busy people so we shouldn't keep them any longer." Luna says, stepping in. "Now, line up to give Miss Hermione one big hug before she leaves."

They all do as Luna says, waiting patiently in line. As I give hugs to all the children I notice that Sarah is not among them and I starting to get worried. After everyone receives a hug, they all rush over for one big group hug. They make me so happy that I don't know how I'm going to get through my days without seeing them. They all say their goodbyes and wave one last time before returning to their normal day-to-day activities.

"Where's Sarah?" I ask Luna after I say goodbye to the kids.

"She went to the little girl's room a few seconds before you came in so she should be back soon." She tells me.

And just as Luna finishes her sentence, I hear a tiny gasp from behind me. I turn around to find that blonde little girl a few feet away from me.

"Miss Hermione!" Sarah exclaims and runs over towards me so fast, I almost didn't have time to react. I open my arms as she runs towards me and bring her up. "I thought you weren't coming today."

"Well, I wanted to see you."

"Really?" She asks, eyes beaming with delight. She looks down for a moment and then looks back at me. "You're wearing my bracelet!"

"Of course, I am. I never took it off ever since the day you gave it to me." I say, looking down at the colorful beads circling my wrist. At least I'll still have this bracelet to give me her comfort even when I can't see her.

"Miss Hermione, why are your eyes red?"

I look back up at her to see that she's staring strangely at me. Well, it's now or never.

"Listen Sarah, I have some bad news to tell you-"

"You're not leaving me are you?" She asks quickly before I even had a chance to finish.

I can already see the tears form in her eyes, not helping mine at all. She knows. She knows exactly what the answer to her question is. But for her, she needs to hear the words come from me to know that it's true. As soon as a tear falls from her eyes onto her tiny face, I can't bare it any longer. I take her over to one of the beds and sit her down.

"I promise I'll come visit you as much as I ca-"

"You _are_ leaving me!" She yells and stands up on the bed, tears pouring out of her eyes.

"Sarah, I have to do this. It's not something that I want. But I ha-"

"No!" She continues. "You promised me when I first came here that you would never leave me. You said that as long as you were here you would never let me feel sad ever again!"

I close my eyes as I think back to that promise I had made to her. When I open them seconds later, my face is soaked from the tears that had slipped through.

"You lied to me, Miss Hermione! You're a liar!" She screams and runs off into the arms of the new caretaker.

My hands come up to cover my mouth as sobs escape me and I begin to cry like I've never cried before. Although I know what she said is the truth, although I've told myself that same thing more times than I can count, hearing it from Sarah makes it far worse than I've ever known. My heart has broke into pieces knowing that I just broke the heart of someone else, someone who I care so deeply about. And to see her run over to the new caretaker…that would've been me, if I wasn't the reason why she's like this in the first place. No, she doesn't need me anymore. She probably never will. The thought kills me inside.

I feel myself shaking and my knees are starting to go weak. They are about to give in when I feel strong arms hold onto my shoulders, helping me stand.

"Come on." He says and walks me out of the orphanage.

Once we reach outside, that's when I lose it. Draco holds me as I let myself break down. I need this, to release my sadness, relief, anger, and a bunch of other feelings all in one or I might explode. I'm still shaking and my tears can't seem to end. Draco rubs my back, giving me the comfort that I need. Though it's not enough to completely get me through this, I'm still grateful to have him here with me. I don't know what type of state I would be in right now if he hadn't insisted on coming.

"Hermione." He says softly in my ears. "I know that was really hard for you to do and I know I can't completely understand what you're going through, but you shouldn't dwell on it. You did what you had to do."

I shake my head and push myself away from him so that I can look at him. "Sarah's right. I'm a liar."

"Hermione." He says, sternly, my name again and it makes me want to pull my hair out.

"Don't, Draco. Don't." I say, anger in my voice.

I know I shouldn't take it out on him. He doesn't deserve my wrath. I'm angry, but only with myself. I shouldn't put him through this, but I can't help it. I'm so angry.

"Don't what, Hermione?" He asks me. I can tell he's getting a little upset himself by the way he says my name. Why is he getting so upset about? He's not the one that has to go through this.

"I know what you were going to say and it's not going to help. It's not going to change anything! I'm a fucking liar, Draco!" I scream in frustration. "I've lied to everyone! Worst of all, I've lied to everyone that's important to me. I've lied to you, Harry, Ginny, Ron, and now Sarah."

I take a step back and drop my head, bringing my hands to wipe my face. "What's happened to me?" I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

Draco gets closer to me and brings his arms around to hug me once more, but I push him away and take another step back. I look him straight in the eye.

"This…disease has given me nothing, but hell for the past weeks, months. Maybe it would be better if I just…died." I say, looking away.

Draco grabs my shoulders and forcefully turns me so that I'm fully facing him. He's gripping so hard that my shoulders start to hurt, but I just look at him with no expression on my face. I've felt worse. His face is so tense and for a moment we are just staring at each other before he finally speaks.

"Don't you dare." He says. "Don't you dare go there."

"What." I say, stubbornly and with more attitude than necessary. Honestly, if I was in his shoes, I would've slapped me without a second thought. But I'm not, and he has no idea how I'm feeling. I shake myself out of his grasp.

"It is so selfish of you to even think that. Do you know how many people care about you, Hermione? Do you know how much distress you would cause so many people if you just…died." He cringes when he says the last word like it hurt him to say it.

"Yeah? Like who?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure who he's thinking about.

"Are you kidding me, right now? You're seriously asking me that? Unbelievable." He says and let's out a humorless laugh. "Potter, the Weasleys, all of your other friends, even Sarah."

"I don't ca-"

"Don't say you wouldn't care, Hermione, because I know you do." He interrupts. "And not only them, but…I'm included too."

"Don't lie."

Why would he be affected if I weren't here? Why would he care? But, I must have said the wrong thing because a look of fury spreads across his eyes.

"I'm not lying. I don't lie." He says harshly. "Why would I have to? You pretty much lie enough for the both of us."

My eyes grow wide as I hear him say those words. It feels like he just put a knife through my already bruised and wounded heart. A look of regret washes over his face as he realizes what he had said, but it's too late. He's already said it and I heard it loud and clear.

"Shit." He curses, as he rubs his face and runs his hands through his hair. He looks back at me and his eyes are apologetic. "I'm so sorry. I…I shouldn't have said that. It just came out and I…"

I shake my head. I can't even look at him, right now.

"Hermione, please."

I'm about to walk away, but he grabs my wrist and tries to pull me back to him.

"Let go of me!" I yell and struggle to release my hand from his strong grip. And before I even register what happens, I use my other hand and slap him. Hard. He releases me then and I do the only thing that's left to do. I start running.

I don't know even what caused me to do that. I know it was wrong of me. I should go back and apologize. That would be the right thing to do. I guess I was just so angry and hurt that it was just a quick reaction. But he didn't deserve it. It wasn't like what he said about me was false. If anyone deserves to be slapped it would be me. I'll let him know that the next time I see him, that is _if _he's still willing to see me.

But for now, I'm just going to keep running, going wherever my feet is wiling to take me.

* * *

I've been have _the _worst week ever. I've been feeling so miserable as of late and it doesn't help that I have to attend Harry and Ginny's house warming party today. Now, I'm going to have to look like I'm enjoying myself and put on a fake smile. I was definitely not looking forward to this, but I didn't really have a choice. They are my best friends and I promised Ginny I would be attending. I don't think it would be a good idea to break another promise, especially to my best friend.

But, the worst part of the whole week is that I haven't seen Draco since that dreadful day. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I rely on him daily or anything like that. Draco and I have a very unusual bond, one that's hard to describe. It's just that whenever I'm not around him I get this feeling like…there's something missing, an empty space inside. It drives me mental. I think that it's quite ridiculous actually and unfortunately I can't really do anything about it. No matter how many times I tell myself to not think about it, he pops back into my mind.

I look around at all of Ginny and Harry's friends. There are about forty people present and supposedly there is more coming. Ginny really went all out on the guest list, but that's normal Ginny for you. They all seem to be enjoying themselves, discussing some recent news in the ministry, catching up on some lost friendships. Most of their friends are either from the ministry or reporters from the Daily Prophet. But I do recognize some of them, but none that I'm all that friendly with, save a few. I should probably join in with some of them, since I'm just sitting at the kitchen counter looking so isolated from everyone else, but I'm really not in the mood, no thanks to this past week.

"Hey Hermione." I hear someone call from behind me.

I turn around and smile at the person standing in front of me. "Hi Ron."

He leans in and gives me a hug. It's a little longer than usual which makes me feel awkward and I'm not sure why.

"What was that for?" I ask after he lets go and takes a seat.

"I don't know." He shrugs. "It just feels like I haven't seen you in ages."

"It does, doesn't it?"

After Ron and I ended our relationship, we became very distant with each other. It just felt weird being near him when we were so intimate with each other not so long ago. Things started to get a bit better, but then he started dating Lavender Brown again. When I found out, from Ginny, we began our bickering again. I was just angry at the fact that he moved on so quickly when I was still pretty heart broken over it. He claims that I was just jealous and that I don't like Lavender. I'd never admit it to him, but there might be a slight chance that he was right.

We stopped talking to each other for weeks until we both realized how stupid we were to stop our friendship over that and we gradually became friends again. I still consider him one of my closest and best friends, I always have and always will. Despite the fact that I don't really like Lavender, I find her quite annoying, I'll still act nice and friendly to her if needed, for Ron's sake. As long as nothing is said in front of her or Ron then it'll be fine.

"How've you been?" He asks me.

"Fine, just fine." I lie. "And yourself?"

"Same."

I nod my head slowly. Awkward silence.

"How's Lavender?" I ask, randomly. _Very smooth, Hermione._ I would've hit my own head if there weren't so many people around.

"She's good." Ron laughs, probably surprised that I even asked such a question. He opens his mouth about to say something, but it looks as if he's not really sure if he wants to or not."How's Malfoy?"

I blink twice.

"What?" I'm completely stunned.

He laughs again, a nervous one this time, and scratches the back of his head. "I know, it's strange that I'm asking you about Malfoy."

"It is…why would you be, anyway?"

"Well, you have been spending most of your time with him. Or that's what I've been hearing."

"From who?!" I practically yell. A few people who are standing near us turn around to look at me. My face grows warm from embarrassment, but I just smile and give them a short wave then turn back to Ron. "From who?" I say, again, though much quieter this time.

"Well, don't be angry or anything."

"I won't." I say quickly, but that's just because I want to know who it is.

"Harry."

"Harry?!"

That's the last person I would've thought of. How Harry even knows is beyond me.

"Yes, well, Ginny's been telling hi-"

"Of course! Ginny! I should've know…"

"Now Hermione, you said you wouldn't get upset. Besides, Ginny and Harry are so close, what do you expect?"

He does have a point there. I mean, if Ginny can blab to other people about gossip, no doubt will she be telling Harry every little thing that she knows. I stop my thoughts and freeze once I realize that Harry and Ron know that I've been spending so much time with Draco the past days. What if they think we're some kind of couple? I'm surprised Ron hasn't said any nasty remarks or scold me for being around Malfoy. Surely they'd be a little upset over this. It is _Malfoy_, of all people.

"Aren't you mad, though?" I ask, slightly afraid of what his answer might be.

"Mad at who? Harry and Ginny? No, I think it's good that they can trust each other and tell each other informa-"

"No, not at them, you goof. At _me,_ for spending so much time with Malfoy."

"Oh, yes. I mean, I was and so was Harry, but then Ginny came to your defense, in a way. She gave us a mouthful, that one did. Scary how much she reminds me of mum when she's mad." He tells me and lets out a short laugh. I smile, knowing that even though Ginny may be a bit too much at times, she's always first and foremost a good friend, one of the best I could ever ask for.

"So, you're not mad?"

"No, not really. It's like you with Lavender. If you can accept Lavender after disliking her for a while, then I can try my hardest to keep my bad thoughts to myself. I just try not to think about it." He says and I nod in understanding. "If he makes you happy, Hermione, if you're truly happy then that's all that matter to me."

"Thanks Ron." I smile. "But you make it sound like we're dating or something. Let me assure you that we are definitely not. We're just good friends is all. We enjoy each others company."

"Doesn't matter. What I said before still applies, whether you two are just friends or getting married. On second thought, you two better not be getting married."

My thoughts trigger back to the list of goals I had wrote when Ron mentions 'getting married', which also makes me think about that day and sharing my list with Draco. I can't help, but smile when I think about it. Then my thoughts flash forward to the other day when I struck him. I mentally let out a groan.

"Don't worry, we won't be getting married anytime soon." I assure him. "He probably hates me now, anyway." I mumble at the end.

"What? Did you punch him in the face again like you did back in third year?" Ron jokes and lets out a humorous laugh. "That would be bloody brilliant if you did."

"I didn't punch him, though I might as well have." Ron looks at me with a confused expression on his face. I sigh. "I slapped him."

"You did?!" Ron exclaims, with a big grin on his face.

"Yes, but it was wrong of me to. He didn't deserve it." I confess.

"Then why did you slap him? I'm not complaining that you did, by the way."

I roll my eyes. "He said something that was very hurtful to me and it made me really upset. He grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let go."

"He touched you?!" Ron's expression suddenly turns into anger. "Did he hurt you, Hermione? I'm going to kill him. Let me see your wrists. Just say the word, Hermione, and I'll kill him. Do you have any bruises? Let me see." Ron says all at once. He pulls my arms towards him almost causing me to fall forward.

"Ron, stop it! He didn't hurt me." I tell him, but he's still checking. I sigh and stare at him, irritated, as he continues to check my wrists. Finally, he lets go and looks up at me.

"That bastard got lucky this time." He says with his face so serious that I had to let out a laugh.

Ron and I begin another conversation when there's a knock on the door. Ginny goes to open the door and we both ignore it as our conversation continues. A few seconds later, I see Ron glance over my shoulder and a frown appears on his face. I turn around to see who he's frowning at. There are two new people in the room, but my eyes lock with the guest that has just walked in. Our eyes are stuck on each other for about five seconds, but those were the longest five seconds I've ever felt.

I turn back around so that my back is now to him and let out a groan. I place my elbow on the table and cover my face with my hand. Of course Ginny invited Pansy and of course Pansy brought along Draco. I feel like I should go talk to him, apologize for what I did, but I don't have the courage to do it.

"Hermione." Ron leans in and whispers to me. "Malfoy's coming over."

I bolt up straight when Ron tells me that Draco is coming towards us, but I don't turn to face him, yet. I feel him now standing behind me, but I make no move to acknowledge it.

"You know, I can still beat him up if you want me to." Ron says to me, a little louder than before, probably so that Draco can hear him.

"It's okay. Thanks, anyways." I smile at him.

He gives me another hug and stands up to leave, but before he does he turns back to me and leans over to whisper in my ear.

"Are you sure?"

I let out another laugh and push him away. He stumbles a little, but straightens himself out before passing by Draco.

"Weasley." I hear Draco greet Ron. Hearing his voice gives my stomach butterflies.

"Malfoy." Ron nods his head before walking away.

I look down to my hands as Draco takes a seat where Ron had previously been sitting. I hate this awkward feeling between us. It's so unnatural. I just want to go back to being able to be ourselves when we're around each other. I want him to make me laugh. I want him to say the right things that make me smile. I hate that he's the only one that can do this to me, to make me feel this way.

"Hey." He says, after a full minute of complete silence.

"Hi."

"Do you think we could go outside and talk?"

I'm still not looking at him, but I know that he's looking at me. I nod my head and we both stand up to leave at the same time causing us to be a lot closer than we both expected. He clears his throat and steps out first, with me following behind. He opens the door to the back porch for me and I thank him before walking over to lean on the railing. The air is cold and crisp, but I remembered my coat this time. I look out over the yard and the view may not be as grand as the garden in my dreams, but it's perfect in it's own way.

Draco walks over and leans his back on the railing, facing the opposite direction than I am. There's another silence and I've just about had it with the awkwardness. This has got to stop.

"Draco." I say, still looking out in the distance. "I just want to apologize for...slapping you that other. I don't know what I was thinking and it was wrong of me to do what I did."

He grabs my arms, this time much gentler, so gently that I can barely feel it, and pulls me to face him. This is the first time in days that I have been so close to him. It feels nice.

"No, Hermione, I should be the one apologizing. I don't know what I was thinking when I said it, clearly I wasn't thinking at all. You had every right to slap me."

"You have a point there." I joke, hoping that he knew I was kidding.

He laughs, a real genuine laugh and my heart flutters as it echoes through my ears. He pulls me into an embrace, one I'm more than happy to accept, wrapping his arms around me tightly and dropping his head next to mine. A big smile is plastered on my face, knowing that we're no longer at an uneasiness with each other. I feel so safe and comfortable in his arms. I wish to stay like this forever, if we could.

And at that exact moment I realize that I am slowly, but surely, falling for Draco Malfoy.

**---**


End file.
